The only thing you need to consider to find true love



Most of us grew up with the idea that picking mates wisely means running with a comprehensive checklist whenever we’re getting to know our suitors: Good character, stable job, etc.

As a result, we build ourselves up along the way in order to meet those criteria. When we’re full-grown adults, we want to be equal to the partner we idealize in our heads.

But have you ever considered who’s going to be there when all else is gone?

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21 irresistible things you’ll love about the engineering boyfriend



Guess what: Today is Engineer’s Day in Singapore. Yes, there is such a thing, and it’s a worldwide thing, except in Indonesia.

I cared because my older brother is one, my boyfriend is one, my best friend is one, and I find myself attracted to the engineering type the whole time I was consciously single. While I’ve welcomed other types and learned to tolerate many things, I still come back to the ones in engineering. You know – the ones who stays in the lab till 6 in the morning, doesn’t shower, and heads off to a morning class immediately.

Besides how obviously intelligent they are, I didn’t really understand why I’m so inclined to these guys until I give myself time to ponder upon it now.

Just woman to woman, here’s why you’re far better off with that bespectacled guy than with Mr. Abercrombie & Fitch:


He’s cute.

I don’t know why the media always portrays engineers as unattractive. You see, nerds and geeks are very different (think Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield) – geeks tend to be more socially aware than nerds are. The engineering guys I’ve met are all but hermits – it’s how I met them in the first place. Believe me all you want, but they all happen to be cute. Best of all, they don’t even know it.


His glasses.

Tell me this isn’t just me: Most men think women want humongous muscles and protruding veins. Tell you what – it’s creepy. Women love a good mix of openness and mysteriousness, and a pair of warm eyes hidden beneath those thick, big glasses do just that. It makes us curious, it makes us want to get to know you more, and it makes us wonder what you’re like without them on. It’s like bra for men.


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Why you should date a geeky girl, or, a list of things that I’m still not


I don’t consider myself a geeky girl, but my boyfriend is a geek. In fact, I’m more of a nerd, which is way less cooler than a geek.


Merriam-Webster defines geeks as those who “is very interested in and knows a lot about a particular field or activity”. I think the geeky girl is just that – a devoted fan of something, any thing, and it doesn’t necessarily have to do with fields they’re usually associated with, to wit, computing and tech.

There are so many attributes I admire in the spunky geeky girl (think Liz Lemon, Mindy Kaling, and Marissa Mayer), and it’s great to see that society is slowly stripping off the negative and stereotypical connotations about her. From a Star Trek zealot to a gizmo buff to a cat fancier, the geeky girl lives and breathes through her obsession, and she couldn’t care less about how others are judging her for that.

Here’s why I think she makes a star in the dating world:


She’s got depth.

You should know that her wits extend far beyond her IQ score.

The geeky girl is a learner and a problem-solver. She may be java coding one day and read up on Descartes the next, and she would sit engrossed in working out a long algorithm, and then catch up on Captain Underpants for toilet reading. It’s beautiful that she keeps an open mind at all times, as it’s in her nature to be curious. Once something demands her attention, she’ll keep digging the well until she fully understands the task at hand.

Obviously, not all geeky girls hold a scholarship at Oxford in molecular biology while still keeping herself socially active, dating a superhero, and remain looking phenomenal (that’ll just be Gwen Stacy). What matters here is that your girl is impeccably sharp.

You’ll be confident when introducing her to your friends. Any room will light up whenever the geeky girl turns a dull conversation into an engaging one.


She respects your comic book knowledge and/or video game skills.

One of the hardest things about being in a relationship is the need to give up your obsessions sometimes, even if they’re neutral ones. From time to time, you may be demanded to sacrifice in its entirety. Even if you’re allowed to cut back, most girls tend to leave your efforts go unnoticed, and they’d rather spend their time painting their toenails than petting your head when you’ve completed a mission on StarCraft.

The geeky girl begs to differ. She sees you not for who you can be, but for who you already are. In fact, she’ll show you all the easter eggs you missed in the MCU films, argue with you for hours on whether Spider-Man should wait out until the next reboot to join The Avengers franchise or not, and fill you in on all the X-book crossovers that might change everything you’ve ever known about X-Men and the Marvel Universe. She’ll get so frantic when you present her with two tickets to the San Diego Comic-Con, she might as well attend the convention all by herself.

Granted, you can be fully, beautifully, unashamedly yourself around the geeky girl. So feel free to show off your complete Collector’s Edition of Dragon Ball Z to her.



She’s a rare breed, obviously.

A geeky girl is hard to find. There aren’t enough people in the world who permit themselves to indulge in their deepest passions, let alone girls with a substance and a real appetite for life.

Most of us ladies would resort to set aside our differences and sell ourselves out to social conventions when ironically, conforming is the path of most resistance. We go about trying to be everything to everyone, pleasing all but ourselves, striving to emulate the ironclad constructs of womanhood and go on living our lives thinking we’re never enough. (I’m guilty).

The geeky girl, however, is fully aware of these expectations and the whole notion of having it all, but still enjoys her unique hobbies and interests unapologetically.

It comes to no surprise, then, that the geeky girl possesses an independent streak.

You don’t have to worry whether she’s going to get prissy on a boys’ night out. She has a lot of Pokemons to level up outside of your relationship.


She’s loyal, strong-willed, and she kicks ass, because she thinks cheating is for the weak.

I’m willing to bet that you won’t find a single GameShark in any of her consoles. The geeky girl would rather go on a sleepless night trying to figure out how to defeat the final boss of her favorite RPG rather than bearing the weight of self-deception for the rest of her life.

This translates well into your relationship: Whenever there’s a rocky road somewhere down the line, she’s not going to bail out and kiss the next guy. In case you haven’t noticed, sleeping around is just not her thing; what makes you think she’s going to be weak at her knees for you?


She gets (and keeps) you motivated without trying.

Don’t act like you’re not up for a challenge, because you’re a guy and you run on testosterones. Chances are, the geeky girl knows and does almost everything better than you.1

Whether you pretend to let her win the Street Fighter duel or decide to amp up your own game, you can’t deny that she makes you feel alert and more alive in every way.


She doesn’t photoshop her pictures.

She’s not proud of them, but the geeky girl has her flaws visible to the whole world.

For someone who stays true to herself, she doesn’t feel the need to cover up for her joys, her hopes, her desires, her fears, her quirks. She says what she means and she lives her life according to her values, and 99% of the time, the geeky girl is oblivious of your admiration.

Tell her how she inspires you to stay true to who you are. and she’ll make an even better man out of you.



She knows she’s not perfect.

This goes hand in hand with my previous point: Like every other girl on earth, the geeky girl’s got her own share of insecurities. She may be extra sensitive when there are important details that didn’t make it through the cut in the book-turned-film she just saw, but she’s doesn’t actively involve you in her own worries. The girl’s got a fair share of self-esteem and self-respect to not burden you with the dreaded do-I-look-fat-in-this-dress question.

Relationships can only grow stronger when the both of you feel completely safe to be yourself, so it’s reassuring to know that your girl speaks out when something bothers her and generally deals with her own anxiety without putting you to blame. It’s natural to fear potential scenarios that might threaten your sense of trust toward each other, like that new girl you just met at work or when the bartender starts flirting with you, but she trusts you, listens to your reassurance, ad deals with her feelings like a grownup. She’ll preoccupy herself with hours of Game of Thrones marathon and eventually realize how stupid she was to worry about problems that never exist. Besides, deep down she knows you’ll never find another girl with whom you can be as open as you are with her.


And she loves you for you.

The geeky girl may not always wear her heart on her sleeve, but she’s nothing short of genuine. When she says she adores you, it’s not because of how tall you are or how much money you make (though that’s a plus), but simply because she likes you for you.

Rest assured there are no hidden agenda behind those thick-framed glasses of hers, ’cause she doesn’t keep a list of finite reasons behind why she loves you. Even if you walk around the house with Doraemon-patterned boxers and still keep decks of your Magic: The Gathering collectibles in your drawers, if you’re the one guy who let yourself drown along with her in her passion, she’ll be sticking with you for the long haul.


Have you met the geeky girl in your life? P.S. Possibly the coolest wedding ever.



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  1. That said, you must be awfully secure in your masculinity. []

I’m in a relationship with an extrovert, and we live in an ideal world.


This post is part of my series for BlogHer’s March 2014 NaBloPoMo challenge. See all my NaBloPoMo posts here.

Prompt of the day:
Do you enjoy being alone? What do you do when you’re by yourself?
Prompt of yesterday:
What is your favourite personality trait that you possess?
Prompt of the day before yesterday:
If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?


To be 100% honest, the NaBloPoMo challenge has got me jaded by now. I’ve got other projects under my belt for the blog and outside of the blog, but somehow I just won’t give up on this one. Although the prompts are directed to me personally (with “self” fittingly dubbed as the month’s theme), I strive to provide content that really achieves the level of depth I see in stories and writings I admire. Doesn’t look like it, but it takes a lot of thought before hitting the ‘Publish’ button for these NaBloPoMo posts. Since this is a challenge I signed up for myself to begin with, I’m gonna zip it from now on – no more complaints until I breathe out the final sigh of relief.


* * * * * * * * * *


The short answer: I enjoy being alone. I do creative stuff. My favorite personality trait is my introspective tendencies. While I don’t believe people can change 180-degrees, I do believe people change, just as I have consciously made changes about myself while being in a relationship with an extrovert.

The really long answer:

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White Day: 11 gifts ideas for le boyfriend


10 days away till the post-Valentine’s Day celebration1 arrives, and I’ve been spotting some really cool finds that my boyfriend will like …

White Day gifts for le boyfriend

 this wireless solar keyboard from Logitech,
 cool LED digital clock that’s light-sensitive,
☑ cute V-neck jersey tee for your hunky man,
 an apple-shaped iPod/iPad charger,
☑ this mod, silver, vintage globe for his desk,
☑ late French illustrator Robert Peynet’s Lovers, a sweet collection of romance-filled drawings,
 cute melting ice cream door stop,
☑ Ridley’s ping pong set for a fun date night,
☑ the smiling Mandarin juicer for his kitchen,
this adorable set of six tiny piggy soaps, handcrafted with all-natural ingredients, and
☑ his new favorite donut bean bag in the bedroom.

Loving the piggy soaps and the door knob. Much better alternatives to the usual marshmallows and white chocolate, don’t you think?




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  1. See Tofugu‘s take on White Day. []

“Brain Divided”: Funny animation shows what’s on your mind when you meet your crush.


Ever wonder what goes on inside your head while you’re on a date?

The guys at Ringling College of Art + Design recently produced a short CGI animation to illustrate just that – and it’s priceless.

Take a look:

I just loveee the giggling girl brain toward the end :p

All jokes aside, I’m sure the way our brain works isn’t usually this divided at any given moment. After all, the whole left-brain, right-brain concept is a myth.

But kudos for the insights as to just why we behave the way we do, and how specific differences in the male and female brain structures can divide the two genders’ ways of thinking so much.

The lesson here: To really hit it off, keep in mind that we’re more alike than we are different.

That whole men-are-from-Mars and women-are-from-Venus notion is BS. John Gray said himself in his seminars that it’s just a way of him putting it so readers can understand those subtle (yet important) differences better.

Very often I still fall short at remembering what’s important whenever there’s a rough patch in my relationship.

“Men,” I mutter to myself.

But it doesn’t stop me from trying to understand my partner better.

So the next time you think men and women are so different, try comparing your brain structure to that of another primate.

Would you rather mate with an orangutan?