Whatever makes you weird is
probably your greatest asset.
via Juleeanna Hallen on Pinterest
via Juleeanna Hallen on Pinterest
The image on the mirror is ugly.
it has small eyes, wide nose, thin lips, thin hair, flat chest, and wide hips. I wish its skin’s a bit fairer, its hair’s a little fluffier, its lips much fatter, its eyes bigger, its nose much straighter, that it’s way bustier than it is, that it’s got slightly longer legs, and just a little bit taller.
I also wish it’s more mature, more patient, much more gentle, much, much slower to anger, thinks way less about things than it does now, way less anxious than it is now, and much more loving, caring, and forgiving to others.
“Then, you wouldn’t be your own image,” the mirror said. “If all your wishes come true, you wouldn’t be God-send. You’d be others-manipulated, conventions-regulated, and pretty much everything else other than your own person.
I froze for a moment. I stared at the image again.
True, that image is not me. I was never my own to begin with, and I should be stepping away from this deception.
That’s when I know, I am beautiful. In every way that I already am.
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Whenever I draw you, I get to know you a little bit more. Every fur, every detail, every move you make, I love watching you just being you. I want you to experience this life as fully as you can, this life I’ve created especially for you. This feeling inside me I can hardly contain just for myself – I just had to share you to the world.
Each time I draw you near, you delight me in your ways. You make me smile, your cuteness beyond belief. Your snout and your cheeks and your wobbly limbs – I can’t get them out of my head. Never for a second I doubt that you exist and very much alive, a figment of my imagination coming to life.
My world is beautiful because of you. But it’s also a big one where you can get lost easily. My hope is for you not to wander too far from me1, and I’m sorry that sometimes I’m too busy to play with you. I may be your creator, but I am only human. Not God, never will be.
So don’t ever let go of my hand, little one2. Because you are the reason I draw.
1. I don’t have a dream wedding.1 I didn’t dream up a fantasy since I was 10 or anything like that.
2. The closest thing I’ve imagined about the supposedly “happiest day of my life” is that it’s going to be a small, intimate one.
3. This gives my wedding organizer (WO) a lot of flexibility to work with, yet far, far too many options for me.
4. Peonies or carnations? Camellias or Davin Austin roses? Can I have all of them? Can I have just a couple of them? What are the other options? I mean, I’m good with anything as long as it stays within the concept.
5. Umm, what’s my theme/concept again? Whenever people ask me this, I have no idea what to say. It’s like trying to come up with an elevator pitch, but you can’t put yourself into the metaphorical elevator.
6. Today’s wedding industry: One bride, a million decisions, infinite vendors.
7. Wow, before I got engaged I had no idea a dress alone can cost as much as USD 55,000, which you only get for rent. A lot of times I thought of spending the money on getting a down payment for properties we like instead. At least that we can sell for rent.
8. I really, really don’t want to think too much about the dress. But I have to, because it appears that most brides do, and that my mom and my in-laws and everybody else cares more about it than I do.
9. Turns out, bridal expos are nothing but a waste of time, especially when you already have an excellent WO at your disposal.
10. Hassles are the worst. As much as I wanted cascading flowers on my cake, I’m agreeing with whatever you say is more doable.
11. I really hate waking up early just to have a discussion on cakes. And flowers. And lights and everything else. The idea of having my makeup done early on D-Day always have me grunting.
12. And no, I’m positive I don’t need a USD 9,750 vellum paper-wrapped, double-board. custom-designed, premium paper-printed wedding invitation card that everybody’s going to toss except me and my future husband.
13. My secret wish is to have the whole family assigned as a team to plan the whole wedding for me, and then I’ll just have to attend.
14. That’s right. Most of the time, I wish there’s somebody else who can make all the decisions for me. Heck, one time I even fantasized about some other girl that would fill the position of a bride on the wedding day. She will be my face for the day, and then later on I’ll take it from there to live with my husband forever after.
15. I really miss having face-time with my fiance where it doesn’t concern the wedding.
16. The thought of elopement has passed through my head at least a million times.
17. Most of the time I wonder, why do people make such a big fuss about weddings? I’m fully aware it’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience, but the whole definition of “special” in this special day is exactly what makes each weddings unique and therefore, different. There are simple weddings and there are elaborate weddings. I just wish the spotlight on me is a little smaller.
18. If there’s one thing I’d want my guests to remember, it’s not the food, not the lanterns, not the lighting, not the centerpieces, and not even the dress – it’s the love that my fiance and I share and how it overflows the entire garden like the first golden rays of sunrise.
19. As the months drew near, I just can’t wait till the day is over. The pressure of all the attention, the pressure of wedding expectations, the pressure of having to be perfect for a full day. Pressure pressure pressure.
20. Heck with hair and makeup already. I’m up for any artist as long as it’s not too thick, not too different and just not not me.
21. I mean, for Pete’s sake I’m going to be someone’s wife. Like, for real. For good. For eternity. I don’t know how everything will turn out on D-Day, and by now you know I don’t give 2 cents on whether it’ll be a dream wedding or not, but this is not a dream and I’m so nervous, yet so excited for the ever after. Never have I imagined I would meet my soul mate, one that didn’t exist before he came to life, almost as if I conjured him up, and you know what … nothing else matters, because I am going to marry the man of my dreams.
If you know me IRL and/or follow me on social media, you know I’m nuts about pigs. There were times I shrieked myself to tears when I see a cute pig photo floating around the web or ones that got sent to me from my friends.
For someone who’s easily stressed out, it’s a major therapy to double-tap my way through these Instagram feeds. So whether you’re a dog person or a cat person (I’m a dog~), I want to share the piggy love on this post. Hopefully the babes will lift you up in this midday slump #seriouslytoocute:
P.S. Do you know where to find micropig breeders in Indonesia? If you do please, please, please, please, pretty please let me know. I’ve been looking for one since forever.
You’ve probably seen the bag charm and Murakami’s latest hit before around here.
But you’ve only met Ocha the pig recently through my Instagram, and he’s 100% made of love.
Be the first to hear about him, because our online boutique is coming soon. We bring you select lifestyle products (like the T-shirt above) featuring Ocha, his friends, and a whole lotta cuteness.
Inspired by E. L. James
Photography by Icliq | FB: Icliq | IG: @icliqphoto | Twitter: @icliqcs
Bag by Prada
Bag charm by Poupette
Skirt by Poppihola
Shoes by Zalora
Styling by Stacia Priscilla (that would be me, a.k.a. le creator of Ocha the pig)
Special thanks to Coffee Kulture | FB: Coffee Kulture | IG: @coffee_kulture | Twitter: @coffee_kulture