Hazel is different. She walks lightly, old man. She walks lightly upon the earth. Hazel knows the truth: We’re as likely to hurt the universe as we are to help it, and we’re not likely to do either.
People will say it’s sad that she leaves a lesser scare, that fewer remember her, that she was loved deeply but not widely. But it’s not sad, Van Houten. It’s triumphant. It’s heroic.
(Gus’ letter to Peter Van Houten, The Fault in Our Stars)
Soul mates. The term often carries romantic implications in it, although it’s not always the case. I’ve spent at least half of my life finding mine1, only to find myself embracing a larger conception of the term now.
I used to believe in the notion that one person was supposed to complete us, somehow predetermined to be the only one to fulfill our lives. If you think about it, it’s a ridiculous and potentially dangerous concept to hold on to. What if said “The One” lives in another continent and you’ve never had a chance to travel abroad? What if you’re Peggy Carter and your Captain America lives in another century? And what if one day, you become so possessed by this idea that it eats you up, obscures your conscience, and drives you away from those loved ones other than this mystical “The One”?
Start by telling him what you want. Why you were angry last Tuesday night, how you’re not asking for his solutions and just his ears, and what you want to have for dinner on Valentine’s Day. If you don’t know exactly what you want, just break the silence. Tell him all the choices you have on your plate. Let him speak his mind. Stop him from thinking you’re giving him the silent treatment for some mysterious reason. Choices aside, it’s probably not the best idea to push all the decision-making responsibilities to your man. You and him, it’s a two-way street.
Whenever he disappoints you and you’re all too tired to explain what looks like the most blatant mistake ever, think about the last time you disappointed him so much that he let out a big sigh. Yes, it’s one of those “Let me get some air” and “Can we talk about this later?”. We, unlike men, like to talk. The more heated we get, the more we want to scream, “Why can’t you understand? You’re supposed to get me!!” Men are a different breed. After hours of heat, they need to reset the logical parts of their brain, much like your computer needs to cool off after all the energy it has sustained. You will never realize this in the heat of the moment, but when you’re overwhelmed with emotions, a few rational thoughts can make huge amends.
Also, stop trying to make things seem obvious. What might seem obvious to you might not necessarily seem obvious him. Instead, clarify. If you want him to buy you a dress, don’t say, “That’s the prettiest dress I’ve ever seen!” Say, “I’d like to have that dress some day.” Rather than starting an argument about the prettiest dress the both of you have ever seen, let him know what is it about the dress that concerns you: You want to have it some day. It doesn’t matter if he thinks it’s pretty or you think it’s pretty. He cares about you, not the dress. Don’t make him care about the dress. You know you want it and you hope to own it. Say it like it is. Don’t expect him to know you want it by saying something that doesn’t concern you about the dress.
On your anniversary night, you’re lacquered in your most kissable gloss and divinely sculpted in a Herve Ledger. You were expecting him to kiss you, with tongue, good night before you slide out of his car, but he didn’t. You’re mad, you can’t believe it, you’re upset – but don’t fret yourself. If you’re so upset (and/or somewhere between angry and horny) that you can’t even, keep a quota of 3 unanswered calls and 3 unreplied texts. True, nonverbal communication is the majority (93%) of what gets said, but it doesn’t give you a license to expect him to do the exact thing you want him to do, done exactly the way you want it to be done. Even if you’ve looked the other way and gave one-word answers to show your discontent, you still need to verbalize exactly what’s on your mind, preferably as soon as possible. He may seem unaffected by all your efforts to look good that night, but you don’t know how hard he tried to control his stutters and shaky knees. It doesn’t help either that men can’t read body signals like women can.
So if you want it, just ask for it. Pick up his call, reply his text, and ask for that French kiss. Don’t let him misunderstand you, and don’t even begin to exceed the quota. The worst starts to happen when you pile up the rocks for up to a week. Weeks easily become months, months become years, and years become a lifetime. You don’t want to build a life of resentment, only to look back and see a mountain you can no longer move, all because of the darn kiss. And I know, the way I said it – asking for what you want – sounds completely unromantic. But have you got any idea how much of a turn-on is dirty talk to men? It doesn’t matter if it’s only the first anniversary or your 50th, or if it’s a dome or a megalith standing between the both of you – all you have to do is ask. Now’s the time.
Most important of all, learn to let go of all expectations and start the straight talking. Honestly, gently, and lovingly like a lady. Choose to let him know what’s on your mind as best as you can, because no matter how well you think you know your man or how well you want your man to know you, he’ll never fully understand you, even if he want to. As Harper Lee once said, you never really understand a person until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it. Likewise, you can’t, and will never, truly know what’s on his mind 99% of the time. Neither does his buddy nor his brother, and certainly not even you.
via Anna Bliss on Pinterest
It’s the last day of February and I made it (almost) everyday throughout NaBloPoMo February 2013! Now that I’ll be taking a momentary break from my marathon blog posting, are you guys prepared to accomplish something this March?
Prompt of the day: When do you feel your sexiest?
Let’s get downright dirty today :) It’s the last day of February’s NaBloPoMo challenge after all, themed love & sex – might as well let down your hair like it’s already springtime.
Feeling sexy is relative. For me, sexiness is a manifestation of inner confidence, and there are plenty instances when I feel that way.
I can’t choose the sexiest out of the many, but here’s a list of moments, in no particular order, when I do feel sexy:
– Image courtesy of The Chive
♥ when I’m wearing a cute underwear
♥ whenever I dress cool and comfortable
♥ when I had an intense workout during the day
– Image courtesy of ohmydalia via Tumblr
♥ when I’m doing the bridge pose
♥ just whenever I stretch
♥ when I actually make an effort to feel sexy, a.k.a. basic personal care, hygiene, and lots of shaving
– Image courtesy of Hair Tutorials
♥ when I’m wearing my ponytail high
♥ … and pencil skirts
♥ when my clothes fit and I can breathe in it
♥ when I’m in my boyfriend’s shirt
♥ when I read Fifty Shades of Grey and picture the future sex life I’m going to have with my future husband
♥ when I get or give a full-body massage
♥ whenever my lips turn crimson after eating some spicy food (but not exactly when my nose sweats like a pig because of the spice)
♥ when I’m sleeping naked
– Image courtesy of Cosmopolitan
♥ whenever I’ve accomplished something, (like making it through NaBloPoMo February 2013!), no matter how big or little the accomplishment is
Saturday, February 2, 2013
When was the last time you said “I love you”?
The last time I said “I love you” was…
Monday, February 4, 2013
Tell us about your first crush.
The first crush (or second) (maybe third)
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
How old were you the first time you fell in love?
At 13, I fell in love for the first time
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Do you remain friends with ex-boyfriends after you break up?
How to remain positive after a bad breakup
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Describe your ideal date night.
Dirty sweaty date night idea
Friday, February 8, 2013
Name the most romantic movie of all time.
Keeping miracles in a notebook
Monday, February 11, 2013
What is your ideal Valentine’s Day celebration?
What spending Valentine’s Day is (ideally) all about
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
What is your favorite Valentine’s Day candy?
Of candies, colors, and balls
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
If you could send out Valentine this year as you did back in grade school,
what type of Valentine would you send out to your blogosphere class?
Here’s my Valentine for you :)
Thursday, February 14, 2013
How do you feel about Valentine’s Day?
All About You: How do you feel about love?
Friday, February 15, 2013
How did this Valentine’s Day compare with Valentine’s Days of years past?
My first ever Valentine’s
Monday, February 18, 2013
What is the most romantic book you’ve ever read?
Pain is part of real pleasure.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Martin Luther King Jr. unpacked love and hate when he said,
“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”
Which is easier for you to feel: Love or hate?
Love is difficult only if you think it is.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Erich Fromm said, “Immature love says: ‘I love you because I need you.’
Mature love says ‘I need you because I love you’.”
How do you define mature love?
All you ever need, you already have.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Do you think people can live without love?
To die for love is to be alive.
Friday, February 22, 2013
Aristotle said, “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.”
Do you agree or disagree?
Soul mates are made, not born.
Monday, February 25, 2013
Do you think you would enjoy being a “sex symbol?”
Long legs and all
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Do you think sex education should come
from the parents, the school, or a mix of both?
Mae West described sex as “emotion in motion.” Unpack this idea in a post.
An educated woman in motion
Thursday, February 28, 2013
When do you feel your sexiest?
Unleashing the inner kitten
– Image courtesy of Hair Tutorials
What about you, girl? When do you feel your sexiest? And how do you unleash your inner kitten?
Ever since I stumbled upon thxthxthx, I thought it’d be a great idea to share with you awesome blogs I’ve came across throughout the Web.
So this morning, I’m sharing an uber-cute blog that’s a lot similar to the drawings I illustrate about Stanley and me. The illustrator drew these pictures because he and his girlfriend were in a long-distance relationship – just like Stanley and I.
Look at all the chibi cuteness :):
Are these adorable or what?!
HJ Story reminds me of Stanley and I so much (especially the gift part and the stubborn part) that I feel the blog is bookmark-worthy to keep coming back for more inspiration. Even though the author/illustrator of the blog and I are presently in the same locations as our beaus, I think we owe it to our blog readers for keeping the long-distance romance alive up to this day, so thanks y’all :) (I finally had my first Valentine’s celebration ever! No more Skype miscomms and whatnot~)
Are you a fellow bloghopper? Have you stumbled upon an awesome blog recently?
Prompt of the day: How do you feel about Valentine’s Day?
What I feel: It’s a day filled with moments to look back at how much we’ve grown and changed in our relationships. It’s also a day packed with opportunities to celebrate how great an impact our love has made in other people’s lives – especially the ones you love most (particularly your romantic interest).
Instead of me babbling how I feel about this special day, I invite you to speak your mind and challenge you with the question: How great is your love?
- Men: Are you merely saying the L-O-V-E word or do you show little gestures everyday that say ‘I love you’?
- Women: Do you still speak to your man the way you did and touch the way you touch him a year ago, three years ago, five years ago?
- Both men and women: Have you always been there whenever your loved one needs you the most?
- Singletons: Don’t think I forget you. Are you willing to give love a chance this year?
Type away your answers on the comments section below and let me know how you plan to spend your Valentine’s this evening.
I’m sure the lovebirds have got it all planned out for the night, but let’s take away the fancy dinners and roses aside for a second: How much do you really know love? Are you willing to be better for your loved one? And singletons … what are the qualities you admire in a person?
Have a superb Valentine’s day!
A kiss! :)
Hope it brightens your day!
P.S. I don’t own the original credits to this image, so please let me know if you’re the owner and you stumbled upon this page.