The joy of giving

Submit to StumbleUponSubmit to redditShare on Tumblr

 
groomandbloom-01

Going beyond skin-deep beauty, Groom & Bloom is a room for growth – a place to learn not only creative ways to dress up and highlight our best features, but also a discussion on gracing the natural assets each of us are born and blessed with.

 
tumblr_m5a40jj1Ia1qev349o1_500

- Image courtesy of Serendipity; life itself via Tumblr

The other day, I was reading acclaimed writer Maya Angelou’s take on philanthropy in her first collection of personal essays, “Letter to My Daughter,” a book dedicated to the daughter she never had, but has won the hearts of women of all ages worldwide through her captivating voice. She revisited an episode of her childhood, where she described her self as her grandmother’s shadow, a figure she so highly respects that she “imitated” her. “She was the picture of dignity. She spoke softly and walked slowly, with her hands behind her back, fingers laced together.”

As I was reading the chapter, I recognized the little soul of a quiet girl who had never known the hidden powers of her smile, and that it can mean the world to someone else. Reading her exposee has brought me delight, knowing that long ago, in another time and another place of the world, someone I never knew shared the same silent spirit as I do. Now, she is widely respected for that enigmatic smile on her face.

Being the mother figure that she is, I consulted her chapter once again after the realization of our increasingly secular yet selfless generation, upon pondering Scott Brown’s message in his article, “How Twitter + Dopamine = Better Humans.

We be, therefore we are. Deep down, our be-ings are built as lovers of humanity. Yes, you might say that we are designed out of the idea of humanity, from which we call our-selves “human beings”. Our mere existence is a living proof that each one of us is a lover of mankind – not necessarily are we labelled as philanthropists, but we are all charitable by nature, at least, on a neurochemical level.

Evolutionary science has proven that our brains are wired to feel good once we’ve performed an altruistic behavior. Infants who have not yet learned even the most basic social skills are readily there to pick up our clothes for us if they fall off the hanger. Once tapped, this ingrained cooperative spirit in all of us huddle into one powerful energy to fend off imminent dangers. The 9/11 attack elicited an unstoppable heroism toward the victims, demanding the donation of bloods and other acts of compassion or an expression of grief, as selfless as the 300 Spartans who died for the welfare of their state against the Persian invasion, expecting no reward of any kind in return.

Actually, we kind of do. Whenever we act out a selfless deed, the brain’s reward system is flooded with the feel-good hormones better known as dopamine. It’s the same kind of feeling when you receive a hug, eat chocolate, have good sex, and gets a promotion at work. You reap what you sow. I suppose that is why when someone thanks you for what you’ve done for them, you say, with a smile, “My pleasure.”

In the words of Angelou, being charitable is as if to say, “I seem to have more than I need and you seem to have less than you need. I would like to share my excess with you.” My generation, the Millennials, practically grew up with technology. We are better informed, better equipped, and better connected to the world than any other generation before us to reach out and help those in need. With our multitasking skills and spurts of creativity, we are capable to drive any social, environmental, and political cause with the least amount of time, considering a tweet and a Facebook like is as easy as clicking a button.

I had numerous impulses to give in excess to various charities I feel passionate about. After all, I memorized my credit card information by heart, thanks to my humongous hippocampus (through regular exercise) and overflowing dopamine (through brain stimulation that comes along with regular exercise). Yet, my conscience will always strike back at every impulse, especially when distance and time can still be a factor despite technological advances.

I remember those exact words my mother, my most enduring role model, once said to me when I decided to give up life: If you want to give so much, might as well give to the people closest to you. “You’ve got a lot to give, so give those you care about in abundance. You don’t have to go so far as to donating huge amounts of money for people you never know. There are people at your arm’s length – sick grandparents, elderly neighbors, wounded beggars and starving children in Indonesia – who need more of your help than the needy in Africa.”

I still live off my parents’ income and am presently living with them. I’m jobless too.Yet I’ve also recently done something that has made them extremely proud: I am a college graduate. That alone has brought the all smiles and made them kissed me on each cheek. With the addition of my job offers, upcoming activities, and future opportunities, I have succeeded in making my self a joyful gift for them.

With every individual who focuses on the people closest to them to be happy, the less amount of time it takes for the joy of gift-giving to come back in return. Even fewer the hungry and the sickly have to wait for someone across the planet to give them clean water to drink, replenish their souls with medicine.

Looking ahead, despite the occasional hurdles to test our faith, humanity remains promising. I am promising my parents, two people who have given me life, to continue making them proud, for I have never failed them (but have been close to) in my 22 years of existence as a human being.

 

By this, I, too, am happy to describe my self as charitable.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


Muchaluva,
Stace.
 

The sweet spot of running

Submit to StumbleUponSubmit to redditShare on Tumblr

BLOG

July 2012

 

 

I never buy the idea that long-distance running ruins our health. I mean, that’s counterintuitive. If you exercise more, your body becomes healthier. We run off risks of obesity, hypertension, all types of cancers, and even slowing down the aging process. It never occurred to me that recent scientific findings show that there really is such a thing as “too much” running.

Recalling September 2009, I remember a doctor’s visit where I found out I had foot inflammation on my right leg. I wasn’t allowed to exercise for a full month (Incidentally that’s when I take up golf). Everytime I bend my foot in a certain way, it will hurt up to my knee. My suspicion turns to excessive training on the treadmill – I can never do long runs as long as I’m in Jakarta, because I’m not allowed to be on the streets at any time of the day. Every one travels by car in Jakarta, because of the heavily-polluted air and for the innumerable killings observed on a daily basis. My cousin’s life was taken only because he didn’t want to give up his car. He was attacked even while he was driving, and the policemen only found his body 3 days after the incident.

So that gave my close ones a traumatic experience of loss. I wasn’t allowed to step foot on the outskirts of my home. Anyway, long story short: I cannot run long distances UNLESS I’m in some kind of race or running group. So, plenty of treadmill fast and slow runs later, with an average of 1.5 to 2 hours I spent at the gym most days of the week, I had an inflammation. The lesson then was to incorporate slow, easy workouts instead of hard workouts every time I move. How much can you do with a treadmill but only short bursts of sprints? You can never go long and slow on a treadmill because it’s B-O-R-I-N-G. So I’ve never done that.

It was never about excessive running. It was about excessive hard sprinting. Cardiologist Dr. Matt DeVane explained to SFGate, “Injuries can ultimately undo the whole exercise process. You get injured and it sets you back and next thing you know, you’re back at ground zero.” And so over the years, like I said, I regained all my weight back from where I started running in the first place – which is 10 kg more. Why? Because after that injury, when I started running again, I was overconfident about my fitness level, and never admitted that I need to slowly catch up on the level I was before. So I started to hate running, and yada yada yada. I run a lot, but the longer I go, the more I don’t feel well. I run long and hard right after a big meal, and then the whole joyful experience of running itself turnaround to become a time-killing activity to burn off all the things I overate before. Which just sucks. You feel like puking every minute, and you hate yourself the more you run.

Then your body starts to fight back and tell you, “Stop it! Now!” and you don’t stop. So you’re running back to all those weight you’ve lost. Which sucked.

Then, as I read more and more about real-life events other than reminiscing my own self-pitiness, I started to see a pattern: More and more marathoners finish off DEAD.

That’s just extreme.

Just as non-runners wonder why runners do what they do (disciplined running, basically), I, too, wonder: Why would anyone want to run till their death? And now I wonder: Isn’t that what I’ve been doing when I regained my weight?

An interview with Paul Williams, scientist at the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory tells us why: “Part of it is personal appearance. I think part of it is getting out, having a break during the day.” Duh. Why do you think there’s a surge of women running harder, longer, faster, in recent years? Other than its health benefits, running improves your body composition – it’s the fastest way to burn fat in the least amount of time, as it’s a whole body workout and stresses all parts, big and tiny, of your body. From brain to booty, it’s all good. “Running is something most people can step out their door and just do. In general it’s something that’s achievable. And certainly when people get to be more extreme runners, they start getting this endorphin high and positive feedback and they just feel better,” said Williams.

And that’s the runner’s high I’m trying to achieve and yearning to feel once again – the euphoric experience I often get after a certain distance.

With all these clashing opinions about distance running, I believe that every one is better off listening to their bodies to get to know their limits. According to Erin Allday’s article on extreme distance running, there’s been recent studies showing that a small group of long-distance runners experienced an adverse effect out of running – they’ve shown an increased risk for heart disease and diabetes. Conversely, another study shows that those who run less than 25 miles per week are less likely exposed to the death risks, specifically at a leisurely pace of 10-minute-per-mile, than those who do more. A Mayo Clinic study also found that endurance athletes have thicker artery walls and the early symptoms of cardiomyopathy, a type of heart disease in which the heart muscle is enlarged and fails to function.

Still, any type of running is encouraged just to get us moving on our feet. Instead of limiting your running practice to a doctor’s safety regulations, it’s wiser to get a health checkup before you take up the sport in the first place. Reasons for these marathon deaths are still a mystery, but they may have already shown symptoms of heart disease before they cross the starting line.

The quest to know how far, how hard you can run, and how much you should run, is not equal for everyone. “There are probably levels of exercise that are excessive for the average individual,” said medical director of the San Francisco Marathon Dr. Anthony Luke. “I don’t think everyone has the same limits.” Conventional wisdom tells us, too, that running a little is still better than not running at all. Scientists have numerous studies showing that recreational runners are far better off than couch potatoes. Here’s the scoop, courtesy of Amy Rushlow from Runner’s World, February 2011 issue:

 

 

Scientists have discovered the fountain of youth—it’s running. Studies continue to find that hitting the roads improves health and well-being. “The biggest benefits come from vigorous exercise like running,” says JoAnn Manson, M.D., chief of preventive medicine at Brigham and Women’s Hospital. Here are the latest reasons to lace up.

 

 

LOOK AHEAD
People who run more than 35 miles a week are 54 percent less likely to suffer age-related vision loss than those who cover 10 miles a week.

 

KEEP THE BEAT
Runners who log a weekly run of 10 miles (or more) are 39 percent less likely to use high-blood-pressure meds and 34 percent less likely to need cholesterol meds compared with those who don’t go farther than three miles.

 

FUNCTION WELL
Men who burn at least 3,000 calories per week (equal to about five hours of running) are 83 percent less likely to have severe erectile dysfunction.

 

BUILD BONE
Running strengthens bones better than other aerobic activities, say University of Missouri researchers who compared the bone density of runners and cyclists. Sixty-three percent of the cyclists had low density in their spine or hips; only 19 percent of runners did.

 

THINK FAST
British workers were surveyed on a day they worked out and a day they didn’t. People said they made fewer mistakes, concentrated better, and were more productive on the day they were active.

 

STAY SHARP
A study in the Journal of the American Geriatrics Society reported that women who were active as teenagers were less likely to develop dementia later in life.

 

SLEEP TIGHT
Insomniacs fell asleep in 17 minutes on days they ran, compared to 38 minutes on days they didn’t. They also slept for an extra hour on days they exercised.

 

SNEEZE LESS
People who exercise for an hour a day are 18 percent less likely to suffer upper-respiratory-tract infections than those who are inactive, according to a study from Sweden. Moderate activity boosts immunity.

 

BREATHE EASY
Researchers had asthmatics do two cardio workouts and one strength session a week. After three months, they reported less wheezing and shortness of breath.

 

LIVE LONGER
A review of 22 studies found that people who work out 2.5 hours a week are 19 percent less likely to die prematurely than those who don’t exercise. A separate study found that active people have a 50 percent lower risk of premature death.

 

College students who exercise at least 20 minutes 7 days a week have higher GPAs than those who are sedentary.

 

 

 
I’m glad I’ve decided to lace up my running shoes very slowly, now. I think I will recover to that fresh, uplifted mental state I earned just years ago through the regular practice of long, slow, short, fast, hard running… yet relaxing at the same time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
Muchaluva,
Stace


To get high

Submit to StumbleUponSubmit to redditShare on Tumblr

BLOG

July 2012

 

 

 

 

It’s July! OMG! One more month and I’m going home!!! It feels exhilarating, you know, getting out of college and jump in to the unlimited possibilities of an open future. But what’s most important is that I’ll be closer to the place I know so well, the place I’ve been all my life, surrounded by the people I love most :)

So. On Fifty Shades. On Mr. Grey. On sex. Perhaps the general public has already  had their inner voices screaming “Shut up already!!!” about the Christian Grey hype. But I’m not going to shut up as of the moment. Because, like I said, I’m a real-life Ana Steele with a protective and loving boyfriend 6 years my senior who has a habit of showering me with gifts and caring words.

Speaking of fiction, let me interrupt your attention for a while. Christian Louboutin has finally announced that his version of Cinderella’s glass slippers, embedded with his signature red soles, will be out in stores later this year. The pair of glasses look like this:

 

 

 

 
The first thought that came to mind was… ‘Whoaaa… Christian Grey would probably pre-order this directly from the designer himself for Ana.’ I think my thoughts are getting dangerous. Christian Grey is not real. Christian Grey is not real. Christian Grey is not real.

 

 

 

 

In other news, I’m planning to wake up really early, then go for a long run, on this Sunday. Say that again? Yes, I’m finally going for a long run after years of stopping (a softer word for ‘quitting’). How does that relate to Fifty Shades?

Well, basically, my goal is the runner’s high. Most people, especially the physically inactive, would think that this is a myth. Unsurprisingly, the most times I experience the runner’s high was during my regular runs (almost everyday of the week) way back in 2009. That was the year I began my diet to lose my American pounds, so I was really crazy about running to lose weight, and then after I did lose them, I began a completely submissive affair with running (which explains why I didn’t have a boyfriend at that time ;D). At the same time, I was really just enjoying my runs – I didn’t have a heart rate monitor, I didn’t own a timer, I didn’t wear a watch – I just run as long as I can for as far as I can go. Which is why, in my running resume, I only have a vague record of my times before October 2010.

The shocking revelation of my fitness was when I saw that this is my time for running a 5k: 18:35 (5’58″).

Which, at my current state, seems close to impossible.

During that year, I can say that I experience the runner’s high at least once every week. How does it feel, you may ask. Well, my pelvic bones and muscles seem more flexible, I feel the release of something coming out of my lower area, a big, happy feeling overwhelming me while my painful strides gets swifter as time goes by, a clearer sight and a straighter head looking toward every passing stranger with a genuine smile (despite all my sweating), and a tremendous, relentless amount of energy even when I don’t eat anything right after the long run. Amazing, right? Especially in the morning San Francisco winds, when pink skies surround you and Above & Beyond is rocking your world.

Then, as I started to become more familiar with how the professionals train, with their gadgets and gears to monitor their stats, I started to do the same. Bad decision.

Of course it’s different for them since they’re “professionals”. They want to make record times on real races. I just want to have fun, but also knowing how much I did so that I can feel happy about my fitness level.

So that’s what I did; I didn’t enjoy my music anymore, I run a couple of blocks, looking my time on the clock, feeling I had to speed up, and I couldn’t catch up to my ideals. Big letdown, big self-loathe, big meals coming back, hates running. That’s kind of the short, depressed version of my story.

So… I stayed within the confinements of the gym. Run on the treadmills. Never go out again. The roadside pavements are painful for my knees. The winds are too harsh. Rain is falling. Yada yada, and many other excuses.

I never felt the runner’s high again. I suspect that’s the main cause behind the disappearance of my menstrual cycle for over one year (2010 to mid-2011).

The journey back to a more stable mental wellbeing would take a lot more word in this post. Let’s just fast forward till today. I have a loving boyfriend, continued menstrual cycle, and a dangerous lust for some fictional character.

Runner’s high feels a lot similar to a turnon.

 

 

 

Ask any athletes and they’ll smile. And I’m not talking about the shy, fidgety turnon when you see a beautiful creature passing you by. But the confident kind of turnon when all you want to do is just prolong the flirting.

Back in 2009, my main motivation to run in the first place was to feel comfortable in my skin, lose weight, and be and feel sexy (that’s what you get after a spending a steamy night with your partner, right?) Well, my intention for this Sunday is to get that back again – which logically sounds easier because now I have a clearer motivation in my head – picturing my boyfriend’s face while I run :D

P.S. I’m a celibate, so I’m not qualified to talk about subjects concerning sex. However…

I’ve taken a basic psychology class for my liberal arts requirements at my university. What I know about basic human motivation is that there are 2 biggest primary motivators every human being naturally experience:

 

 

 

1. FOOD

Source: Glorious Treats on Flickr

 

 


2. SEX

Source: Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis for ELLE


 

 

We all know that reducing our food intake is the easiest way to lose weight. But it deprives us of the other human motivator, which is also a part of our motivation to lose weight in the first place – sex. Aren’t women supposed to be a symbol of fertility, that 0.7 waist-to-hip ratio? Plus, what about women who love food (I’m raising my hand)?

That’s basically why I love making my own food, so that I don’t have to suspect the hidden fattening ingredients in what I eat. However, if I tell myself the mantra “I want to feel sexy, I want to feel sexy, I want to feel sexy” as I take each stride, I don’t think I’ll ever feel sexy (tried and true).

What makes me feel sexy, right now, and every other woman all across America (possibly around the English-speaking world), is reading into all the sweet things Christian Grey wants to do to Anastasia Steele.

“Ana is so you,” my boyfriend kept saying. No, it’s the other way round. Part of why I’m so obsessed with the trilogy is that a lot of things Christian said to Ana are exact things my boyfriend have said to me before, and that we’ll never forget. We thought E. L. James secretly spied our lives or something, to write the book. I’m kidding.

And all these things are such a turnon :D It makes me giddy every time I read a text either from Mr. Grey himself to Ana and from my real-life boyfriend, who claimed himself an unromantic person, and has had many firsts since we’re together :D

In short, I want to do a long-distance run while picturing my long-distance lover’s face, which I’ll come face-to-face with in the not-so-distant in the future.

Now, before you judge me, and I know I sound crazy by connecting all these unrelated dots into one super long post, I’m telling you now that there’s actually scientific evidence about how physical movement affects your entire wellbeing, specifically the runner’s high.

We all know that physical exercise floods the brain with endorphins, drug-like chemicals that make you feel that giddiness when your beautiful creature reciprocates your feelings. These endorphins are the body’s response when it’s heavily stressed. Both the logic and reality says that the greater the endorphins released, the greater the “feelin’ high” effect the runner experiences. Why can these high runners think clearer while they’re in such state of euphoria simultaneously (unlike drug-induced “feelin’ high)? Because these endorphins attach themselves to parts of the brain that has to do with emotions, specifically the limbic brain (that means your hormones and nervous system) and the higher-thinking prefrontal area.

 

 

 

 

 

Dr. Henning Boecker of the University of Bonn told The New York Times that these are the areas of the brain that are activated when people are engaged in romantic love and when you hear your favorite music being played in the radio. “Some people have these really extreme experiences with very long or intensive training,” said Dr. Boecker, a runner and cyclist himself. Imagine that feeling what you inhale a deep breath and slowly release it – calm and collected. Imagine that feeling when you’re dancing alone in your room to your favorite song while nobody’s watching. Imagine both feelings at once. “You could really see the difference after two hours of running. You could see it in their faces.”

That just seems fit – I remember my glowing face and content mood after those runs, and I remember my cheeks flushing whenever he has an indescribable way of staring at me in a small smile.

OK, I’m blushing as those memories rushing through my mind.

Anyway, I don’t plan to go as hard as I used to, since I’ve only done occasional jogs recently and none of the hardcore stuff I used to do. Like it used to before, I don’t plan to wear a timer to monitor my speed. I just want to know how long I can run until I feel good, no matter how fast or slow I run.

See: wikiHow: How to Get a Runner’s High

It’ll be fun.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
Muchaluva,
Stace

What makes you happy? I’m happiest when…

Submit to StumbleUponSubmit to redditShare on Tumblr

PROSE

June 2012

 

 

 

 

 

 

Water after eight hours of sleep :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Topic: HAPPY

 

 

 

 

 
Muchaluva,
Stace

It’s the end of June!

Submit to StumbleUponSubmit to redditShare on Tumblr

BLOG

June 2012

 

 

 
Almost the end of June, now. Everyone else is dreading the day when they’ll have to pay the rent. Me? I can’t wait.

It’ll be my last rent check and I will be off in August.

By the by, I mentioned that I will be having 2 open house hours this week in my previous post. However, I only had the first and so many people were committed to the place that on that very day, my place has been rented out.

Now I can feel less anxious throughout the semester outside school. Originally I thought I am going to be busy throughout July dealing with school and finding new tenants for my landlord after I leave. But turns out that it’s that simple. Thank God.

Anyway, in that last post I also mentioned that I might post some food diary entries. So here it is for today. Yay!

Also, looking back at the past 6 months, I can count how many times I visited the gym by counting my blog posts. The last time I visited the gym wasn’t this one, though. It was the evening right before my boyfriend arrived at SFO, which was on April 2. I remember very clearly I had the most intense workout of the year that evening. Although it’s just the usual elliptical machine for 30 minutes, my intensity level goes up the most at 30. Which is insane. I know if I didn’t work out that day, I would’ve gained 2 kg by the time he went back home to Jakarta, instead of the 1.5 kg I gained. So it was well worth it. Then, during the first week or the second week of May, I quitted the gym. I didn’t bother anymore because it was my finals week and the week before I participated in my graduation ceremony. Then my parents were here and everything… So my life itself at that time was a workout.

Then, although I didn’t keep a log here, in the last couple of weeks I’ve been jogging a little outside, just around the block. I realized my fitness levels are steadily declining, despite having a lower body weight than I had when I was working out. I guess I eat less and sleep more now, both of which are responsible for the lower body weight. Generally less appetite too.

But I promised myself (and the gym managers) that once I’m back in Jakarta, I will be jumping on the wagon again. My brain desperately needs a routined workout schedule for the previous 3 or so months. So before that day comes, I just want to inform readers that I’ll be logging my workouts the same way I’m logging my food diary today too – neat, clean, simple. Why? Well… Honestly, I like to read stuff with simple formats (Who doesn’t?). So now reading back all my gym-visit entries, it all feels like a blur 0.0

Keeping my brain fit has been a lifelong promise I’ve made since the last 3 to 4 years ago – to eat healthy and keep myself fit. Well, of course at that time I was still focusing on the short-term goal – losing weight and be my tiniest – now it’s all changed. However, I really feel I’ve adopted a different characteristic ever since I’ve made this decision. I’ve never been the athletic type for all my life. I always skipped P.E. classes and have always eaten anything I wanted (mostly I eat what my mother feeds me, like apples and eggs everyday, and other foods are just lots of green tea and chocolate, which I naturally liked since I was very young). So I was that skinny girl who could never gain weight. But I was always the shy type, not the straight-A girl, not the most popular, and certainly not the prettiest. Also known as low self-esteem.

Until now I also admit that I still have low self-esteem. However, making healthy decisions actually gave me confidence to believe in my own worth, and that gave me a sense of control over certain aspects of my life. I think it’s not coincidence that I met a man in my life who fits the criteria I’ve been carrying around all these years (and that feeling is mutual). I’ve only realized this after the way he said to me that I’m the exact thing he asked for from God. To me, he’s too good to be true, and I’m lucky. He’s the best.

However, remember that on the first day of this year, I mentioned about the challenge with my boyfriend? (Sayang, inget ya aku dah lg menang). Even though I don’t compare very well with other fitness enthusiasts out there in terms of my consistency (judging from the irregular gym visits)… I still fare much better than my boyfriend… You can’t deny that!!! It’s a fact, not an accusation! Okay honey?

Nick Vujicic, author of “Life Without Limits”.

Motivation is a very tricky thing. Short-term motivation is getting ready for bikini season. Long-term motivation is growing and nurturing my genes so that my children will be super healthy, happy, smart, and beautiful. Haha.

Seriously. Why do you think at my innocent age of 22, I keep wanting to learn how to cook dishes with the healthiest possible ingredients without leaving out a good taste? I’ve failed at blueberry clafouti (twice), which was why I never posted their recipes. If you notice, I rarely upload dessert recipes, because I don’t keep butter at home (that little devil hurts the brain like red meat). Of course a little bit is fine, cacao butter is awesome. Still, everyday I still prefer apples and eggs, and I hope my kids will be smart enough to hold their temptation before reaching for the marshmallows when mommy is not around (If you’re not informed, please take a quick read about Stanford University’s marshmallow experiment).

I learned that smart people have short-term goals and long-term dreams. I think all those goals and dreams are the sum of each person’s unique definition of what we all call Motivation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Muchaluva,
Stace


Primark
Matalan