Almost the end of June, now. Everyone else is dreading the day when they’ll have to pay the rent. Me? I can’t wait.
It’ll be my last rent check and I will be off in August.
By the by, I mentioned that I will be having 2 open house hours this week in my previous post. However, I only had the first and so many people were committed to the place that on that very day, my place has been rented out.
Now I can feel less anxious throughout the semester outside school. Originally I thought I am going to be busy throughout July dealing with school and finding new tenants for my landlord after I leave. But turns out that it’s that simple. Thank God.
Also, looking back at the past 6 months, I can count how many times I visited the gym by counting my blog posts. The last time I visited the gym wasn’t this one, though. It was the evening right before my boyfriend arrived at SFO, which was on April 2. I remember very clearly I had the most intense workout of the year that evening. Although it’s just the usual elliptical machine for 30 minutes, my intensity level goes up the most at 30. Which is insane. I know if I didn’t work out that day, I would’ve gained 2 kg by the time he went back home to Jakarta, instead of the 1.5 kg I gained. So it was well worth it. Then, during the first week or the second week of May, I quitted the gym. I didn’t bother anymore because it was my finals week and the week before I participated in my graduation ceremony. Then my parents were here and everything… So my life itself at that time was a workout.
Then, although I didn’t keep a log here, in the last couple of weeks I’ve been jogging a little outside, just around the block. I realized my fitness levels are steadily declining, despite having a lower body weight than I had when I was working out. I guess I eat less and sleep more now, both of which are responsible for the lower body weight. Generally less appetite too.
But I promised myself (and the gym managers) that once I’m back in Jakarta, I will be jumping on the wagon again. My brain desperately needs a routined workout schedule for the previous 3 or so months. So before that day comes, I just want to inform readers that I’ll be logging my workouts the same way I’m logging my food diary today too – neat, clean, simple. Why? Well… Honestly, I like to read stuff with simple formats (Who doesn’t?). So now reading back all my gym-visit entries, it all feels like a blur 0.0
Keeping my brain fit has been a lifelong promise I’ve made since the last 3 to 4 years ago – to eat healthy and keep myself fit. Well, of course at that time I was still focusing on the short-term goal – losing weight and be my tiniest – now it’s all changed. However, I really feel I’ve adopted a different characteristic ever since I’ve made this decision. I’ve never been the athletic type for all my life. I always skipped P.E. classes and have always eaten anything I wanted (mostly I eat what my mother feeds me, like apples and eggs everyday, and other foods are just lots of green tea and chocolate, which I naturally liked since I was very young). So I was that skinny girl who could never gain weight. But I was always the shy type, not the straight-A girl, not the most popular, and certainly not the prettiest. Also known as low self-esteem.
Until now I also admit that I still have low self-esteem. However, making healthy decisions actually gave me confidence to believe in my own worth, and that gave me a sense of control over certain aspects of my life. I think it’s not coincidence that I met a man in my life who fits the criteria I’ve been carrying around all these years (and that feeling is mutual). I’ve only realized this after the way he said to me that I’m the exact thing he asked for from God. To me, he’s too good to be true, and I’m lucky. He’s the best.
However, remember that on the first day of this year, I mentioned about the challenge with my boyfriend? (Sayang, inget ya aku dah lg menang). Even though I don’t compare very well with other fitness enthusiasts out there in terms of my consistency (judging from the irregular gym visits)… I still fare much better than my boyfriend… You can’t deny that!!! It’s a fact, not an accusation! Okay honey?
Motivation is a very tricky thing. Short-term motivation is getting ready for bikini season. Long-term motivation is growing and nurturing my genes so that my children will be super healthy, happy, smart, and beautiful. Haha.
Seriously. Why do you think at my innocent age of 22, I keep wanting to learn how to cook dishes with the healthiest possible ingredients without leaving out a good taste? I’ve failed at blueberry clafouti (twice), which was why I never posted their recipes. If you notice, I rarely upload dessert recipes, because I don’t keep butter at home (that little devil hurts the brain like red meat). Of course a little bit is fine, cacao butter is awesome. Still, everyday I still prefer apples and eggs, and I hope my kids will be smart enough to hold their temptation before reaching for the marshmallows when mommy is not around (If you’re not informed, please take a quick read about Stanford University’s marshmallow experiment).
I learned that smart people have short-term goals and long-term dreams. I think all those goals and dreams are the sum of each person’s unique definition of what we all call Motivation.