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On My Mark: It’s Hard To Say Goodbye, But … (Week of November 4-10, 2013)

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Looking back at the past six weeks On My Mark (Race Dates And On Staying Injury-Free, Making Fun A Priority, 4 Things To Do To Speed Up Efficiently, The INFJ Runner, The INFJ Runner, Part 2), I started thinking about why I started sharing my running with others. I’m embarrassed for some of the things I say on certain weeks when Making Miles was still what I call my running journal. It kind of synchronizes with all the things that I share on the blog – I just OVER-share.1

 
Before we go on, let’s get over with the usuals first: My running this week; Friday’s 800m-repeats was at a very, very serene place in Jakarta:
 

☑ Tuesday, November 5, 2013 – (10’32″ / mi) 3.7 mi38:53 min

☑ Friday, October 8, 2013 – (10’53″ / mi) 0.5 mi05:31 min
(10’22″ / mi) 0.53 mi, 05:35 min
(10’22″ / mi) 0.5 mi, 05:14.17 min
(12’26″ / mi) 0.5 mi05:14.71 min
(10’21″ / mi) 0.38mi04:01 min

☑ Saturday, November 9, 2013 – (13’08″ / mi) 2.13 mi28:05 min

 
 

8.25 miles this week. Keepin’ it steady~

 

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From the very beginning, I really wanted to share that awesome feeling you get out of running. Maybe it was just the endorphins, but I know I was battling my inner demons. Slowly running turned into long conversations with God. Most of the time, though, it’s a big release from the stresses that build up throughout the day. At other times, it’s pure happiness you want to express when words cannot describe something awesome you’re experiencing in life.

Frankly I’ve had more fun keeping the race(s) I’m participating a secret. Because it’ll all be about experience rather than speed, I know that if I do externalize my goals to the world and that these races haven’t actually begun, somehow I’d jinx my performance on race day. Somehow, it’ll be about the tiresome “performing” again instead of just enjoying the ride.

 

 

People have been asking me why I didn’t opt for the 10k distance instead of the 5k. Of course logic speaks that I’ve done it a couple of times, and I can do it again. But you want to know the truth? I was secretly hoping to beat my all-time 5k PR2. I hinted it on the blog post about this “secret” goal, but in the end, what’s important was I had fun. I knew this kind of mentality will work because weeks leading up to the race I was training my mind to just enjoy the little strides instead of going turbo.

I also know this mindset works for both the short and long distances, so I’m keeping at it for now.

It may be the reverse for some people, but saying my goals out loud makes them much harder for me to turn them into reality. (See: Making Miles: Week 47, on the hidden side of goal-setting.) Externalizing my intents has never led me to deliver the standards I set myself up to deliver. Somehow, running builds that trust in myself until I’m fit to deliver the purpose.

This wouldn’t’ve come to life if I was telling my parents, my brothers, my friends, my grandparents, my cousins, my friends, and the rest of the seven billion people in the world about it. “I want to make a DIY book out of 10’s poem for him,” said I. And she will never get around to it – trust me.

Running has much to learn as being alive. When we were all kids our parents never taught us how to run – we just do. In itself, running is not a defining aspect of me, even though I do it a lot and have consistent mileage under my belt. Distance runners are so cool in my eyes, and I long to emulate their perseverance, patience, and resilience. For this reason, whenever I’m probed, I still couldn’t find the courage to call myself a “real” runner. A “real” runner to me is one who has dedicated his or her whole self to races of all distances throughout the seasons. Think four-time cross country champion Shalane Flanagan, for example.

I still am first and foremost an idealist – but never a runner … that’s why I decided to stop posting my workouts.

For one thing, what you see isn’t all there is. I do lots of cross-training, strength, intervals and plenty more HIITs together with my runs. Recently I’ve also taken up tennis to exercise my focus. Running is so freeing, diverging, so limitless that when I do focus on something, I focus obsessively about it. Basically there’s a sweet spot between feeling challenged and calm, and most of the time I just challenge myself out until I fatigue. Bad advice.

Despite so, I’m more than grateful if my weekly running journal has gotten you to take up the sport. I’m sticking with it for the rest of my life in the comfort of my privacy, even if it’s not about the race(s) I’m training for. Who knows we’ll pass by each other in your neighborhood hehehhe.

This may be my last word for On My Mark and for all the specifics of my personal training in general, but I’m still here, sharing health news, writing running tips, posting race pictures, basically hoping to inspire you to get moving in other ways3 that I can.

Keeping on moving forward is a work of heart. With that, I’m guarding my steps with all my might.

 

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By the by, it’s only early November, but this happened!!
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I’ve only casually heard about it weeks ago by word of mouth and is playing mind games with myself about joining. Now that I’m positive about it, registration’s already closed —_________—

Oh well. Here’s to the loyal readers who bear through the rants, complaints, self-inflicted thoughts, depressive episodes, and other really bad stuff I battled in my head whenever I run: Lace up, and run for your life!!

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Introducing … MY NEW BABY ;) Note the ugly feet. Here‘s some ways to show some TLC for yours.

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Buh-bye, worn ones. You’re the lightest of ’em all.

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Let’s keep in touch on the road with Nike+ (staciapriscilla). Run your best for Nike We Run 2013 this December!!! #bajakjkt
 
 

Disclaimer: The regimen on this post is never intended as a substitute for personal training. It’s for your entertainment/educational purposes only, and personal accountability in my part. For professional advice, always consult a certified health and fitness trainer.

 
 
 
 
 


Stace

 
 

via Cruzine / Verrle Pieters

 Footnote(s):

  1. Like, really. []
  2. It was 18:35 minutes. About four years ago. I know I can still do it []
  3. … other than leading by example because obviously, we might have different goals in mind and that I’m no pro. []
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On My Mark: The INFJ Runner, Part 2 (Week of October 28-November 3, 2013)

 

Hey everyone~ On My Mark posts are supposed to be on Sundays, but I’m retiring a bit from my get-it-done habits.

While we’re on the subject of INFJs – my schedules for anything, including posts for the blog, are usually chiseled in my head like this:

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But I’ve been chilling quite a bit with posting blog posts, with running, with carrying out my plans of intent and with life in general. Although I still can’t survive a day without some sort of a plan of execution, I’m stretching out a bit more just so me and my company at the moment will ease up the tension – that “perfect” person I normally spend at least 2 hours to prepare mentally after I know who or what I’ll be expecting. Yeap, I was that obsessive about pleasing others and performing the actions the ideal self in my head would perform.

The key word there is “perform”. What a big mistake and a wasteful way to live.

Although we always want to grow and find ways to become a better person, sometimes, certain people have made it a habit to take every undesired happenstance to their own blame, which is great because you don’t want to point fingers at others and expand the mess you’ve already gotten yourself into. But the group of people I find strange, even a mystery to themselves, is what the Myers-Briggs type theory call theIntroverted Intuitive Feeler Judger, otherwise known as the INFJs. Take a 5-minute test on the link I provided here to find out your personality type, or take the official test here for a more comprehensive report on thy soul.

The fellow INFJ I quoted from last week made it very clear about the INFJ’s core in a very personal statement, which I couldn’t agree more and just have to feel unapologetically strong about:

 

INFJs are known perfectionists. We are not inclined to settle, nor are we inclined to accept the status quo. If something fails to meet our standards, we quickly lose interest or become annoyed. Our Se (Extroverted Sensing) allows us to quickly and accurately assess our surroundings (immediate or societal), and our Ni (Introverted Intuition) grants us an immediate understanding. Flaws in our external world are always readily apparent to us. For this reason, we are largely immune to trends. INFJs opt, instead, for more classic styles and artistic movements, or more cerebral ones. Our fashion tends to be simpler, as our Fe (Extroverted Feeling) and Se make us feel less attached to our physical selves than other type. An exception would be when we are trying to make a statement with our appearance, like in the case of INFJ shock-rocker Marilyn Manson (a more extreme example, but you get the idea). However, those same traits that draw us out of our physical selves make us want to invest in and enjoy the world around us. We are repelled by all the flash-in-the-pan entertainment we encounter on a daily basis, though.

The fact of the matter is that our heightened discernment leaves no place for the opinions of others. We know what we like, and popularity doesn’t factor into what we enjoy. INFJs walk past the Twilight displays at their local bookstore and head for either the classics or the most complicated modern fiction they can find. A lot of people are going to attend the Three Days Grace show at the local arena, but their INFJ friends are headed to a small club to catch any manner of diverse acts, from Zoe Keating to The Dillinger Escape Plan. 

It’s not that we eschew things because of their popularity, but rather that the plot elements characters, chord changes, textures, rhythms, etc., that are employed to draw in the widest audience are just glaringly transparent to us. We don’t want to be pandered to, we want to be challenged. We don’t want the familiar, we want the novel. We want to be moved, and our Fe brings us wider emotional ranges than what these shallow forms of entertainment can offer, so we dismiss them. We are not normally dismissive of other people that enjoy such things, though, because our Fe allows us to understand their point of view. We are not elitists. We enjoy things the same way other types do, just different things for different reasons.

—Remember, when you doubt yourself, that it’s only because you can see the rest of the world more clearly than you can see yourself.  It’s an advantage.  Use it with confidence, but never in a way that would make others feel inferior.  Draw strength from your discerning nature.

 
 

Wikipedia broke the cognitive functions of the INFJ personality down into the following order:

 

Dominant: Introverted intuition (Ni)

Attracted to symbolic actions or devices, Ni synthesizes seeming paradoxes to create the previously unimagined. These realizations come with a certainty that demands action to fulfill a new vision of the future, solutions that may include complex systems or universal truths.

Auxiliary: Extroverted feeling (Fe)

Fe seeks social connections and creates harmonious interactions through polite, considerate, and appropriate behavior. Fe responds to the explicit (and implicit) wants of others, and may even create an internal conflict between the subject’s own needs and the desire to meet the needs of others. 

Tertiary: Introverted thinking (Ti)

Ti seeks precision, such as the exact word to express an idea. Ti notices the minute distinctions that define the essence of things, then analyzes and classifies them. Ti examines all sides of an issue, looking to solve problems while minimizing effort and risk. It uses models to root out logical inconsistency.

Inferior: Extroverted sensing (Se)

Se focuses on the experiences and sensations of the immediate, physical world. With an acute awareness of the present surroundings, it brings relevant facts and details to the forefront and may lead to spontaneous action.

 
 

Famous INFJs (some personalities listed are surprising) include Nelson Mandela, Al Pacino, Cate Blanchett, Evangeline Lilly, Mother Teresa, Gandhi, Plato, and Jesus himself. I know, I know – how much do you look like a speck of dust when you’re next to these INFJs, right?

Speaking as a perfectionist, I found that nice mix between conforming to others’ expectations and being in a natural state while reminding yourself that you’re not omnipotent, omnipresent, or omniscient – and will never be. (And by the by, I read a really interesting article by Psychology Today blogger, Susan Biali, M.D., on the topic, which has been helpful for gaining an understanding about our weird nature to question our identity every time we’re trying to meet every imaginable means so as to get to the perfect end).

For me, the reminding part is running. It helps establish a good ground the balancing acts you have to put on in life if you habitually get physical. When a moving body transcends the restless mind, the mind is able to follow and rest. It does work both ways.

Seeing people from all walks of life smiling even as they huff and puff will get you psyched instantly. Don’t believe me? It’s the easiest way to motivate yourself to get to your end, because, well, every one of us has our own Goliath that we have to overcome. Whatever yours looks like, just check out the public galleries of Jakarta Marathon 2013 here and here, which are taken by the good people from Unilever and Rexona respectively. I bet you’ll be lacing up your shoes after that.

I don't smile a lot, but
I may not smile a lot, but my heart was flying~

 

 
 

Anyway, this was my running week:

 
 

☑ Tuesday, October 29, 2013 – (15’30″ / mi) 1.95 mi30:09 min
(11’06” / mi) 0.5 mi, 05:36 min
(10’26” / mi) 0.5 mi, 05:16 min
(10’56” / mi) 0.5 mi, 05:31 min

☑ Thursday, October 31, 2013 – (12’20″ / mi) 3.06 mi37:54 min

☑ Friday, November 1, 2013 – (14’58″ / mi) 1.27 mi19:04 min

 
 
 

So. 7.78 miles ran. Still more than last week, but still far from my standards. Worked up the courage to run outside though, finally, and have no further comments about my training, my racing, and my running that are of importance except that the following video will tell you how I feel every time I finished the miles I’ve set for myself – be it during a workout or in a race:

 

 
 
Find me on Nike+ (staciapriscilla) and let’s make every mile count.

 
 

Disclaimer: The regimen on this post is never intended as a substitute for personal training. It’s for your entertainment/educational purposes only, and personal accountability in my part. For professional advice, always consult a certified health and fitness trainer.

 
 
 
 
 


Stace

 
 

via INFJoe

 

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On My Mark: The INFJ Runner (Week of October 21-27, 2013)

Tee-hee.

 

You know what went through my head a moment ago as I’m writing this? “I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck.” Similar episodes like this happen all the time, but I think I managed it relatively well today.

I know that kind of thinking pattern will never last me in a long run.

 

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Getting over it

I’m sure you’re tired with my shitty self-esteem already as it works like a vicious cycle – you do (or don’t do) something and you’re unhappy about that and you find a way to punish yourself and you do something wrong in the detention room and then you blame yourself all over again for everything that spiraled from the beginning, ultimately making a negative person out of you and let it dominate a large part of your reality.

It’s been shitty because I know I have always set high goals for myself to achieve and then I go get them, especially in running. I have a target number of miles in mind for a week and I cover them without a single complaint.

I promised myself to run outside but I didn’t make it; I wanted to run 8 miles each week for 2 weeks but didn’t make it; I set myself up to run 4 times a week and I didn’t make it. Imagine how all that feels for a perfectionist (and apparently, most if not all INFJs are perfectionists). If you’re not familiar with the Myers-Briggs personality typology, Wiki it. Take your time to learn more  about yourself. In my case, this fellow INFJ said it best:

 

The INFJ is a most interesting creature when it comes to problem-solving. When given a task, or when initiating a task ourselves, we are inclined to search for the best system to complete it. This will often result in a few failed attempts, and will almost surely extend the duration of the task, but it is demanded by our perfectionist/idealist nature. We regularly discern flaws in widely accepted methods, and this sort of inefficiency drives us mad. We intuitively see patterns on a large scale, and it’s easy for us to improve on a method for solving a problem. This is often misunderstood by other types as procrastination, daydreaming, or “goofing off,” but that is because they may be inclined to simply follow the recommended method, or perhaps they adhere to “sooner begun, sooner done.

—Build your foundation. Take the time to do things right. Not because our method is superior, but because it is ours. Embrace your way of doing things. Draw strength from your tendency to seek out efficiency.

Anyway … enough is enough. The junk in my head really needed some cleaning, and so I cleansed it quite okay this morning.

Weeks of guessing which one(s) of the seven Jakarta road races I’ll be participating in, and now you finally have an answer:

 

  1. October 6, 2013: Jakarta R.A.C.E.  2013 (5k + 10k)
  2. October 6, 2013: Mandiri Run (5k + 10k)
  3. October 13, 2013: ZINC Vertical Running (56 floors of Menara BCA)
  4. October 13, 2013: Allianz Heart Run 2013 (5k + 10k)
  5. October 27, 2013: Jakarta Marathon 2013 (5k + 10k + 13.1 mi + 26.2 mi)
  6. November 3, 2013: the ongoing S4 Run Series (5k + 10k)
  7. November 24, 2013: Standard Chartered Half-Marathon Indonesia 2013 (10k + 13.1 mi)

 

 

Back in February, when I learned about the Jakarta Marathon, there wasn’t a single doubt that I wanted to be part of it. It’s a huge deal, you know, to become the second Asian host (after Japan) to have its own marathon event. Plus, the original route of the plan was supposed to be starting near my neighborhood – all the more reason I thought it’ll be awesome to finally crash a starting line that I can just head to by walking (i.e. no need to drive). I mean, yeah, the air quality across Jakarta is pretty bad because it’s humid and polluted and all. In fact some people fainted toward the finishing line because most locals spend a great deal of their daily lives sitting in the car. We’re not used to breathing in pure oxygen, I guess. But home’s home and life is as awesome as you make it.

What better setting to conquer your own difficult mind than facing the most remarkable monuments of your own nation? Every stride you make you’re reminded that there are much bigger stuff to deal with than your own demons. This is not heaven after all, so demons will always stick around to plant shitty stuff in your head, right?

Of course, the little miss Cruella in my head wasn’t really satisfied with my slower 5k time. My last PR for 3.1 miles was 29:15 minutes – way, waaay speedier than I was today, and I don’t even want to begin with the idea of beating my all-time 5k PR right now, which is 18:35 minutes. Those days were different. That PR was made during my pre-depression era, and I remember it felt pretty effortless. Anyway, there’s no use dwelling in nostalgia right now.

Let’s focus on the now.

Pull forward

As usual, this is my shitty running  performance for the week:

 

 

☑ Thursday, October 24, 2013 – 1.2 mi, 20:17 min
0.55 mi, 08:46 min
[Note: did not charge my SportWatch]

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☑ Saturday, October 26, 2013 – (11’48″ / mi) 1.94 mi, 22:50 min

☑ Sunday, October 27, 2013 – (11’41″ / mi) 3.67 mi, 43:02 min
[5k Jakarta Marathon 2013]

7.36 miles total, still a lot less than the volume I used to cover.

OK, ok, now is the moment. Not back then, but right now.

Every road race I’ve been always brings together really unique people that you just can’t help but be inspired by them. Jakarta Marathon 2013 begged to differ. There was a blind participant as well as another in a wheelchair who was competing for the 10k. In my heart I was like, man, these guys just won’t quit. It just goes to show that you need nothing else but the sheer perseverance of the spirit to fight your battle.

 

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When that shitty-performance thought went through my head, I leave it there in my mind but decided to be happy instead. There was one thing I did right that I don’t usually do: R-E-L-A-X, instead of pushing more than I can exert. In fact, throughout the race I strive to move forward in good form. I was taking full advantage of gravity to propel me forward so each stride made a greater distance than they usually do. I had poor posture for a while now and running felt like up-and-down movements instead of a forward motion. On the run this morning, every time I feel the run is getting hard, I slowly increase my cadence just to relax. Speed wasn’t in my mind – safety was. I’ve got enough blisters to share.

Not a wall I'm completely proud of just yet, but I believe as we progress, a greater distance will just keep coming.
Not a wall I’m completely proud of just yet, but I believe as we progress, a greater distance will just keep coming.

When getting ahead of most others used to matter more to me, now I just let gravity do her work. It’s taxing to trust only our quads and hamstrings to push forward. Every long stride I make is me responding to Cruella and her discouragements with a quiet “let go.”

As the great Glenn Cunningham once said,

 

In running it is man against himself, the cruelest of opponents. The other runners are not the real enemies. His adversary lies within him, in his ability with brain and heart to master himself and his emotions.

 
 

Tee-hee.
Heehee.

 
 

Did you run the Jakarta Marathon this morning? Which distance did you battle and how did you battle the miles? Join me on my personal battle on Nike+ (staciapriscilla) and let’s make every mile count!

 
 

Disclaimer: The regimen on this post is never intended as a substitute for personal training. It’s for your entertainment/educational purposes only, and personal accountability in my part. For professional advice, always consult a certified health and fitness trainer.

 
 
 
 
 


Stace

via INFJoe Cartoons / Fit For 365