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…BECAUSE KNOWING THE END IS THE SUREFIRE WAY TO MOVE FORWARD RIGHT.

I AM crying. I cannot stop crying.

Dear God, please help me ease my pain. I don’t want to hurt others through my pain. Please, send me someone whom I can fully trust, someone whom I can fully express my feelings to. Someone whom I know does not judge but listen with open ears. Someone whom I feel safe to be around with.

Someone who I can love.

I don’t want to cry every night like this anymore. My face is starting to show. 

Please, please… Send me someone with whom I can find comfort. Someone who keeps his word. Someone who means all the things he says.

In this night’s thunders and storms, I cannot take it anymore…

I’ve committed to death and a lifetime of dedication to my life’s purpose. 

Please do send me an angel. 

SALUNA is signing off.

Saluna and her stories: View all / Diary entries

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…BECAUSE KNOWING THE END IS THE SUREFIRE WAY TO MOVE FORWARD RIGHT.

I AM smiling.

One thing that I’m grateful about this morning? It’s not that important. But it is quite something to note to me.

I’m really fortunate.

I went into Walgreens this morning, the one on Mission. Well, actually, I was scurrying as soon as I got off the 38-Geary bus on Kearny’s stop, and it was raining quite heavily and I was drenched in my hooded sweater once I got to Mission street. San Francisco has been shining for too long, I guess.

I found no umbrellas left once I’m in Walgreens. Luckily, instead of looking for another Walgreens right away, I bought all the stuff I needed to buy on my weekend shopping list (which I carry around in my multifunctional notebook). 

Once I was ready to checkout, the cashier guy smiled earnestly to me. I handed the cash, and I asked: “You don’t have anymore umbrellas, do you?” And he smiled even wider and said, “The Sun has already came up. You won’t need anymore umbrella for the day! Now you can go to your class.” (He wished me a great day too, with a very sincere smile, or you can call me naive). 

Thank God all the umbrellas sold out when I got there in the first place.

 
SALUNA is signing off.

Saluna and her stories: View all / Diary entries

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…BECAUSE KNOWING THE END IS THE SUREFIRE WAY TO MOVE FORWARD RIGHT.

I AM gratified.

1) I got 9 hours of sleep. Though not straight hours of sleep, but it’s 9.

2) I got time for some intimate sharing with my friend, Maria, while in the BART on our way home from Sunday church. We see each other eye-to-eye, after a couple of years being mere classmates. Plus, I was blessed by the visiting Pastor, because he prayed for my goodwill.

3) My boyfriend and I got to talk about our private matters in our private areas (Like, sexually). After all, today is our three-month mark, and we still have forever to go for the upcoming sexciting events to come. We discuss things openly, that’s what I’m glad about. Most couples don’t do that.

SALUNA is signing off.

Saluna and her stories: View all / Diary entries

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…BECAUSE KNOWING THE END IS THE SUREFIRE WAY TO MOVE FORWARD RIGHT.

I AM thinking of good things.

As an attempt to reduce my worries and plentiful negative thoughts, I’m writing down some of the good things that happened to me today.

I video chat with my boyfriend. He looks at me the same way he looks at me when we first met. He looks after me as if I’m the most precious thing in his life, which I am. I’m someone special to someone else, and I have a special someone in my life in return too. We share, we grow together, and we nurture this relationship further. As of tomorrow, we’ll be reaching the 3-month mark. It won’t be an itch if God is the center of our relationship.

I also exercised for 2 straight hours today. It has been a while since I’ve last worked out that long. I’m frankly quite surprised I am still strong enough to achieve that, especially from a night of not getting enough sleep.

SALUNA is signing off.

Saluna and her stories: View all / Diary entries

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…BECAUSE KNOWING THE END IS THE SUREFIRE WAY TO MOVE FORWARD RIGHT.

I AM thinking while I’m in school.

School.

They don’t suck.

They suck because I have no responsibility; no sense of self, not centered at all, not grounded, just pretty much free and flyin’.

Last year, at my lowest, through my severest depression, my locks are even shorter.

I’m struggling to graduate from my college by next year.

In-between these two brief, short moments and hair lengths, I had my longest hair ever.

I also had the best time of my life, living in my best body. OK I just lied. I am having the best relationship of my life right now, just not in the best body.

I was disciplined about a lot of things. I was myself, trying to achieve the best self inside and out. And indeed; I was the best, and I knew that.

I was also pompous; even more self-seeking.

Now it’s onlt that I know there’s nothing to seek other than the Almighty.

I don’t want to be a hypocrite. I don’t want to lie. I want to bear the truth, say the truth, and nothing but the bare, naked truth. And I also want my long mane back. 

And now, back to school.

SALUNA is signing off.

Saluna and her stories: View all / Diary entries