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He gets me.

 

© tinylittletea
© tinylittletea

Different people don’t always get along, much less opposites (at least, if we’re in it for the long haul). But differences aside, I think one of the reasons why people constantly argue is because we tend to want people to look into our circumstances more than we do assert our own perspective on the matter. We think that others get it from our viewpoint, but truth is, no two individuals see things the same way. We especially expect or assume this level of understanding from the people we believe know us best, and sometimes, these “Why don’t you get it?!” kind of arguments can leave a permanent scar.

If we stop for a minute and pull back to see things from the omniscient perspective, we’ll see how puny our own ego really is. It begs for your constant attention, its desires are fleeting. You can’t endow your full and complete trust into something so volatile. It’s so tiny and so vulnerable that it knows, it has to present itself as one ginormous vessel of pride. It pushes others around it to attend to its needs immediately, and while it’s capable, it’s not in its nature to become the first to shimmy out of its pride. It would go lengths to prevent others from seeing its small nature in all its nakedness1.

Now the billion-dollar question is, why not you be the first? Contrary to logic, breaking out of your giant vessel reduces neither you nor your existence. You’re just laying yourself bare – fully your small self and completely with your fragile thoughts and porcelain feelings. This way, people can see right through your soul. And this way, you don’t have to put the pressure on those who know you best to empathize with you. Stripped off your armors, it’s easier for you to get to the heart of one another2 without leaving scars, and that’s a good thing in His eyes3.

 Footnote(s):

  1. Hebrews 4:13 []
  2. because of the begotten Son, who covers for you []
  3. Colossians 1:22 []
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You’re impatient, hard-headed, and easily angered.

 

And you know it. People have been telling you all their life. Some of your relationships went downhill in the first place because you’re like that. You should stop being that way, they yelled. You shouldn’t take things too seriously, or too personally. My personal favorite: Why are you so sensitive?!

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© tinylittletea

And so it goes. Every thought that comes in your way, you begin to suppress. Every emotion, you’re forced to repress before you even process. And every feeling, even the fleeting ones, is like a fatal flaw that forces you to reprogram your nature without a decent backup. No valuable memory to save, no memory whatsoever. The longer this goes on, the faster you go on reformatting mode on autopilot.

And so …

You are nothing, you said to the mirror.

You are nothing, you shouted at it.

You are nothing, you cried.

“If I have to live like a machine, I’d rather not live,” you finished.

Understand this: You are confusing prominence with significance. You might be a little “different” from others, but that doesn’t mean you’re useless, worthless, and/or are doomed to live a meaningless life1. Just because everybody prefers to see a light, outgoing, extraverted little young lady doesn’t mean you should also appear that way. Just because by now you have declared “I am no-thing” all too many mornings in the mirror doesn’t mean you’re actually no-thing, nor does it ever going to make you one. Why? Because you didn’t make you, and this is not the end, and for as long as it’s not that time of your life yet, like it or not, the filmmaker is still running the script.

Fact that you’re casted in the first place is not an accident. As long as you came out of a womb and still alive and breathing, you have a role to play. It’s some-thing, but it’s not no-thing. It may be a lead role or it may not, but you’re there to help move the story forward, to create history, to play a part that ultimately serves a bigger purpose, some-thing much bigger than you.

Even if you can’t see what’s the whole point of having you around, you must remain in the film2. You can’t be replaced. After all, you’re “different”, and so you’re the only one that fits that particular role in that particular scene in the film. The only difference between films and real life is that one was made for multiple audiences (a.k.a. everybody) whereas the latter was made for an audience of One.

Even if there hasn’t been any good come out of your “differences” yet, without them, you won’t be you. It’s like asking Jennifer Lawrence to play Katniss in real life – you wouldn’t want to see her brooding in front of the camera all the time, would you?

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© tinylittletea

 Footnote(s):
  1. 1 Corinthians 1:28 []
  2. 2 Corinthians 4:8-10 []
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Nota Bene

 

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Hazel is different. She walks lightly, old man. She walks lightly upon the earth. Hazel knows the truth: We’re as likely to hurt the universe as we are to help it, and we’re not likely to do either.

People will say it’s sad that she leaves a lesser scare, that fewer remember her, that she was loved deeply but not widely. But it’s not sad, Van Houten. It’s triumphant. It’s heroic.

(Gus’ letter to Peter Van Houten, The Fault in Our Stars)

 

 
 
 


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There’s a new Naked palette in town …

 

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As if I haven’t got enough stuff lined up on my wish list already, Urban Decay has just announced yet another palette for its Naked line that will be out this July. It will be tagged at USD 54.00, but only God knows how much we have to spend when it’ll be sold here in Indonesia (taxes, taxes).

I’m a BIG fan of a smokey eye look, especially when you add an element of cat-eye as well. Usually I’ll have to mix a shade from one palette and another shade from another to achieve the multi-dimensional look (if you only use a couple of shades it’ll just look flat and murky, more so on Asian eyes …), but looks like once I get my hands on this one it won’t be such a hassle anymore.

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Another item added to my expanding list (and a slimmer budget, because weddings). In the meantime, here’s some celeb inspo to sift through while you count down till the Smoky arrives.

 

 
 
 
 
 


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via xSparkage / harpers-shadowCynthia Nyross on Pinterest / weheartitMarie Aquino on Pinterest / Harper’s Bazaar / Beauty Editor / monxcheri on DeviantArt / Vanessa Jackman / Plus Things / Glamour

 

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Monthly roundup: May 2015

 

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31 #ootd inspo, geisha’s skincare secrets, real beauty, and more
26 My second Tea Drop blends

25 Books turning movies: Read + TBR
20 Two kinds of people
16 Brain dump: 29 thoughts that have crossed the mind of an overthinker
14 Be careful what you wish for
14 Mini book haul
12 Sweet supper at SumoBoo

10 You will always be too much of something for someone.
07 Of soul mates and choices
 
 
 


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May 2015: Link love

 

Note: Happy Vesak 2559! Sorry for the late post :( I haven’t been as attentive as I used to on the blog. I’m consciously steering away from its increasing potential to become a full-blown for-profit blog because I realized it’s unsustainable for my lifestyle. Other than wedding planning, you might have noticed yourself seeing more and more of my character on the blog. It’s all a conscious decision to make him shine more here :) In the meantime, here are the links I’ve bookmarked through May that are totally worth clicking. Let’s have our usual cup of tea before the June schedules begin to overwhelm us.

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1. The ultimate #ootd inspo from A-list celebrities. [Stylist]
How to look good dressing casual, according to 110+ stars.

2. The skincare of a geisha. [Into The Gloss]
Ocha, camellia oil, and more.

3. 8 quirky cafes from around the world. [Yahoo! Travel]
Servings on toilet sinks, inside a baobab tree, condoms everywhere.

4. 8 things I want my daughters to know about men. [Different Than Average]
They’re not that simple after all.

5. 10 understated qualities of a truly beautiful woman. [HuffPost]
Because we still have a long way to go.

 
 
 
 
 


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via Stylist / YVE Style / Yahoo! Travel / Love Peace and Write / Batman on Wikia