Most of the time, what drives me is the modern women’s adage that instructs them to think like a man, but act like a lady; look like a girl, but work like a horse.
In other words, my eagle-eye is focused on attaining perfection. Which is disastrous.
Before I knew it, I’ve applied each clause of the instruction for directing the respective aspects of my life (below).
- Image courtesy of Santa Barbara Chic
Four weeks earlier, my assertion declares that life is no piece of cake, which, we all know, is truer than true. Lately, though, it’s turning into a kind of casserole, or crème brûlée, or some twice-baked recipe that’s way too difficult for an amateur to whip up.
Even worse when the amateur is highly ambitious and chronically sets herself up to unrealistic endeavors, which nobody expects out of her in the first place. Let me elaborate.
Think Like A Man
I rarely see my parents, even though we’re all living under the same roof. Both my dad and my mom are busy with their own lives, and I with my own work.
My dad’s an investor and holds an import-export business he built from scratch. He’s busy everyday, hates seeing me tired like him everyday, and relieves his stress by being a pro golfer who plays at every break of Saturday dawn.
My eldest brother is still the States. My second brother may stay permanently in Japan. And as you already know, my mother has recently became a restaurant shareholder.
There is no other way than for me to maintain my self-sufficiency, but sometimes, I just wish I can hit the pause button for a moment and actually stop all these busyness in my household.
Thinking like a man who mends matters of a family, 24/7, tires me out sometimes. Now that I have a career, it’s even harder to do anything to gather them all in one place at one time. I’m usually the one who cooks something up so that I can have a reason to bring all my family members together.
I admit being the de facto physically weaker sex. It’s why I capitalize on making miles and adopt my parents’ good habits. But thank God we have domestic helpers in the house, because, well, you can’t possibly do everything alone. That I finally admit.
So thinking like a man helps a heap. For everything at home and life at large, plan ahead, make decisions, execute, and follow through. The challenge is to accept that you’re not perfect. You’re not God, and that you can never please everyone around you.
Act Like A Lady
Luckily I get to see my beau every weekend. Luckily I have a beau. Weekdays are no longer free for us to run to each others’ arms, but I take comfort in the thought that we are fighting together even though we’re always apart.
Like I said, whenever my stress tolerance runs out of energy, I tend to steam off. It’s a negative habit I’ve had since I was a kid, and I’m still working on stripping that habit away completely.
Throughout our relationship, I seldom let him know the truth. I’m always conscious in hiding my vulnerability from him, because no one likes a needy, wimpy girl.
But no one likes an angry girl either. I mentioned a couple of times before that during the first months Stanley and I started dating, he asked me, “Why do you always frown?”
23 months later, here I am, always smiling.
So despite all the s&*!!y words I let out without conscious effort to hold back the other day, I soon gave up because these days, I’m just too tired to hold up high walls around my psyche to pretend like I’m Xena or some other warrior princess. I admit I’m a woman, and a woman can only allow herself to breathe a huge sigh of relief when she knows that before her stands a man in whom she can rely on to mend everything.
“I’m so tired, bla bla bla, I can’t satisfy you, bla bla bla, I’m not good enough, I have no time, I don’t need another person to please, I am just one person, not two, not three, bla bla bla” soon became “I hate that I need you and I miss you all the time. I hate that when I need you most I can’t be with you. I just want to be with you,” and with all that drama he just replied with a smiley face and said, “That’s my baby.”
Look Like A Girl
- Image courtesy of Baby Fashionably
I run slower than I usually do. I sleep less, sleep worse, and go to bed later than I tend to. That’s just bad because I’m only 23 and my under-eye bags are looking like they belong to a grandma.
I’ve recently delved into the subject of blood type diet, a lifestyle design outlined by Dr. D’Adamo that boasts A-list followers such as Kora Organics director Miranda Kerr, US X Factor’s sweetheart Cheryl Cole, as well as local SK-II ambassador Susan Bachtiar, mainly because I’m interested in blood type personalities and their differences, which is a prevalent concept throughout the Asian culture.
I’m usually skeptical about the popular literature on diets. I’m not looking to lose any amount of weight, and I don’t follow any particular dietary guideline other than eating whatever I want (and I’m a creature of habit so thanks to my mother, who conditioned me to eat a boiled egg, an apple, and some greens every single day of my life, my personal tastebuds lean more toward what people usually dub as “boring foods”). But I believe food is a large determinant of our biological structure, and that means the way we function and behave everyday are made up from the building blocks itself – the calories, water, and the macro- and micro-nutrients from food. Because the blood type diet wasn’t backed by sufficient scientific evidence, at least within the medical community, I’ve always remained skeptical about it … until recently.
Turns out that as a blood type B, my response to stress is pretty much similar to how the blood type As react do: chronically producing high cortisol levels in the body. While the As are suggested to deal with cortisol by light exercises such as pilates and yoga, Bs fare much better when they balance between moderate-intensity exercises with the lighter counterparts.
Even though the book says that Bs function their best with sturdy meats such as venison, mutton, and lamb chops, in truth, eating those meats can make me wake up with sore throat the next morning. The takeaway is a confirmation that blood type Bs are the only dairy eaters from the ABO family, as well as the fact that Bs thrive on seafoods.
Too many people say these are foods high in saturated fats and induces high cholesterol levels, which are true, but here I am enjoying these “forbidden” foods to the fullest while still functioning optimally.
Yet like everyone else, nightly restful sleep is still part of the equation that I have not fulfilled, so as to keep my cortisol levels at its lowest and that I will always be as energetic as a running little girl.
Work Like A Horse
My boss: This post should’ve been posted 3 days ago. You’re more than late, you idiot.
The employee: Sorry … but I’ve got a real job to prioritize my time and energy for.
My boss: You have time at night when you get back home, don’t you.
The employee: Yes, but I’ve been sacrificing hours of sleep for some time now. I can’t think. I’m sure your readers will understand that you’re human.
My boss: No they won’t. They’re consumers when they buy your ideas, not human beings. They have consistent expectations out of you, and it’s your job to keep them up.
The employee: I’m trying my best, ma’am, but the problem lies at the first line of our conflict – I’m a human being. If I can’t function properly, I can’t think. If I can’t think, I can’t write anything!
My boss: You stupid horse.
Yeap, that’s my boss. She’s vicious, selfish, and possibly a member of some cult. But she’s like that all the time, which explains for the high cortisol levels.
The comforting fact is that I know deep down she loves my results. Deep down I also know she’s only human. She’s just doing her job.
“Time is the capital that God has given us to invest,” Billy Graham once said. “People are stocks in which we are to invest our time, whether they’re blue chips or penny stocks or even junk bonds.”
With that in mind, I want to conclude what I believe every modern women, as nurturing as they were wonderfully made, are facing everyday to change the world:
We have bigger houses but smaller families;
more conveniences, but less time;
We have more degrees, but less sense;
more knowledge, but less judgement;
more experts, but more problems;
more medicines, but less healthiness;
We’ve been all the way to the moon and back,
but have trouble crossing the street to meet
the new neighbor.
We build more computers to hold more
information to produce more copies then ever,
but have less communication;
We have become long on quantity,
but short on quality.
These are times of fast foods
but slow digestion;
Tall men but short character;
Steep profits but shallow relationships.
It’s a time when there is much in the window,
but nothing in the room.
- The 14th Dalai Lama
According to Inc columnist Geoffrey James, there are two things you’re better off aiming than perfection: 1) Good enough, and 2) Outstanding (i.e. standing out from the pack).
Of course, as a loyal reader you might’ve already guessed it right, that when it comes to the big picture, my boss will always choose the latter.
I hope she understands that that would mean many, many bouts of good-enoughs to make one whole, much-processed, well-rounded big-picture. It’s a process, not a one-time thing.
Either way, James’ insight provides me with no more room for perfectionism but to put my attention to detail for better use. In everything that I do, I don’t have all the time in the world, nor do I have an unlimited energy reserve. Even though I am given 24 hours a day everyday, my time is limited.
No one on earth can do everything. Every one is made to do one thing at one place at one time. The only place you live in is your body, so if you don’t take good care of it, you won’t know how to optimize your energy levels in order to live out your best potential.
So take a break, woman, take a break. [My boss has just pulled out the string of her blinds. That means she will kill you if you knock on her door, i.e. disturb her].