“Fortunately, being mindful of your time – making a commitment to be there physically and mentally and enjoy life while doing so – makes memories possible. We control a lot less about our children’s outcomes in life than we think. They are their own people. But one thing parents do shape is whether kids remember their childhoods as happy. Creating a happy home is a conscious choice, as is creating a happy marriage.”
Note: Has it been 70 years? It’s a pretty young world here and developing exponentially. Though still behind nations in many things, I feel lucky we have the most breathtaking views in the most remote areas of the archipelago, particularly those pristine beaches in Bali. Earlier this month I’ve just been there for the 2nd time this year for my engagement photoshoot – I don’t know how else to put it, other than how it feels like a foreign city, but embedded with an Indonesian soul. Summer’s going to be over too soon … and I’m nervous as the months drew near, as the wedding will mark the end of this fall. How are you guys spending your last days in the sun?
So I’ve just gone for a gown fitting for my wedding dress recently. It’s going to be spectacular :) I remember the first time we actually got into hunting for the perfect dress; from the beginning, I made it a point to never have my fiance coming along with us. Just my WO, my mom, my bridesmaid, and myself. My mom (and his mom) thought I’m weird, since they claimed they always see the women in Chinese dramas dragging their fiances along from one vendor to another, asking their men how she can look best for him as his future bride.
First of all, I thought first look traditions span across every culture. I was wrong – turns out it’s a Western tradition. No wonder our Asian parents didn’t get it, because my fiance agrees to save the moment – “seeing you in the white dress” – for the big day. Even if I did drag him along to see dresses upon dresses, he’ll say “it’s nice” for everything, as he likes it best when I wear white. He even beamed when I was “forced”1 to try on a random, unflattering, overly adorned ball gown during our visit to a local wedding expo. So yeah … we’ll just save the best for when the time comes (likewise, I appreciate his complete trust2 on my aesthetic judgment :) ).
According to Bridal Guide, the myth claims that betrothed couples weren’t supposed to see each other before the wedding to avoid bad luck in the marriage. Well, not exactly bad luck. This whole not-seeing-the-bride-until-wedding idea sprang from the days when arranged marriages were the norm – the father of the bride was afraid the groom would call off the wedding if he’s already seen her, found her unattractive, and back out while he still can. Even in today’s weddings, if your long-time boyfriend decided turns into a runaway groom, it’ll cast a shame on you and your family. The original purpose of the bridal veil was also to cover up the bride so the groom won’t find out what she looks like until the very last minute.
My purpose for semi-continuing the tradition? Simple: To make his “wow” first look moment even more “wow” than I think it’s going to be. He’s been “wow”-ed a couple of times before by some of my wardrobe’s prettiest dresses, but the next few times of seeing me wearing them wasn’t anything close to their first looks. So yes, simple as that. To maximize the pleasant in his surprise, and by pleasing him it pleases me . Just look at the heartfelt reactions of these grooms:
What do you think? When you got married, did you let him go wedding dress shopping with you, or did you surprise him on the big day? And all you single ladies, would you let your future husband know what to expect before the wedding, or would you “wow” him to the max? Share your thoughts on the comments section below~~
There’s this song that’s been stuck in my head for weeks now. You may already know I just had my engagement photoshoot about 2 weeks ago, and the results are amazing; judging from the raw files on our photographer‘s camera, there’s really not much to edit. One (of the many!) unique thing about shooting with him was that he’s always carrying background music to make his couples loosen up. Though I’ve modeled a couple of times in the past, I’d always turn into the stiffest and most rigid person whenever the camera lights turn to me. But surprisingly, during our 2-day shoot, we got the shots from one location after another so fast, mostly because I was with my beau (so it feels really candid and not so much just mere posing). But a large part of this ease was because of this one song playing in the background:
It’s a collab between folk-pop quartet SHEL and Northern Irish singer-songwriter Gareth Dunlop called Hold On. The song was written to become a soundtrack of another one of Nicholas Sparks’ novel-turned-movie, The Best of Me (2014), which, honestly, had such predictable plot that I was half-asleep throughout the entire screening (though I’m a MAJOR fan of The Notebook(2004); watched the Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams pair-up at least a dozen times now)1.
Nevertheless, out of all the ballads on our photographer’s playlist, Hold On was the only one that made us warm up pretty quickly, at least, for someone (my man) who gets professionally shot once in a blue moon, he’s excellent. At one point he was holding his bladder, and I, too, during the shoot in another location. But we always get the shots whenever Hold On starts to play. I think it’s not so much about the lyrics that create the sparks between us instantly (yes, for some magical reason it’s instant), as the song’s about having hope in a lost love. It was more about actually holding on to our poses that feels almost effortless, because we start moving and get comfortable and then keep holding the giggles about each other’s gestures. That’s what you naturally do when the background melodiously and ever so gently reminds you to hooooold on, hooooold just a little longer, right?