The last time we talked, it was 3 days ago. That night, I slept great. The night after that, I slept fine. Then last night, when I knew the challenge was over, I didn’t sleep enough.

I guess challenges makes you commit. And when it’s over, you’re done.

This is going to be hard. Because that means, I may just have to commit to sleeping at least 7 hours a day for my whole life. Because I believe, as I mentioned, that sleeping is a review of your life as to how you interpret the world.

I’m not up for it yet.

By the time the challenge was over last night, I wrecked my hygiene, my diet, and my attire the next day. I didn’t get to shower like I always do in the morning, I overeat again (which I haven’t been doing whenever I sleep enough), and my skin looks so oily. I stress more, and my boyfriend and my friends are the victims of my negative energy. You know, symptoms of depression. The blues. The quietness. The endless sighs and worries of the coming future. Compare all that to the great results sleep has given back to me.

Fine. I just have to deal with my depression.

And my sleep.

Hopefully I can continue committing to good sleep until forever.

Let’s begin another week of sleeping enough… And 20 reps of crunches right before I go to sleep and another 20 right after I wake up in the morning.

Why?

Because physically squeezing my middle just might help squeezing my soul into the many expectations the world has given to me, sandwiched between my thighs as if I will never live anymore if I never fit in, get myself out of the blues.

Depression is a serious killer. Seriously, it brings not only yourself down but also the people around you. I hate doing that to people around me. I know that I have to exert control over myself in my life here in San Francisco. I know how much I’m so sick of where I am right now and all I want is to go graduate, go home, and be close forever with my family and friends.

But you can’t just cry out for self-pity like that.

So, I’ll just crunch, and hopefully things will get better.

Sounds stupid, but let’s try that. Plus enough sleep, of course. Which they say is normally 8 hours instead of 7. Woot.

Muchaluva,
Stace