I have a confession to make: I go to the beauty parlor once a year, some years never. I go if I have to attend weddings, important events, or just want a new haircut. I have not a clue what a creambath is all about. Well, since we’re spilling secrets here: I’ve never done manicures before. Never in my entire life, though yes to pedicure one time, which was only because my mother wanted my company, and because I always pick my toenails. Oh, especially my fingernails. God forbid, especially my boyfriend, for me to pick my toenails. When it comes to shopping, let me just say that I don’t wear crazy accessories. In other words, overall comfort is better than what I call physical pain (except for the whole stack of sky-high shoes I keep building up to cope with my shoes fetish).
Nevertheless, I’m a girl. And before I say anything else, I agree with the bitter truth: “It’s damn difficult to find that kind of girl”, as I myself find it hard to fit in to our society, where girlfriends would rather go spend hours at the salon just to blow your hair (when you can do it for free at home), adjust your fringe (which you can learn to do it by yourself), curl your mane (where you can save a lot of money by investing in a hair curler and you can curl your mane forever, for free), and that hours passed in your life at the salon could have been used for other forms of beauty treatments, like exercise (sweating makes skin glow) or the long, luxurious hours of beauty sleep (resting keeps you mentally and physically young). Note they’re for free.
In defense of beauty
The equation proposed goes like this: Beauty + Nice = A-rated girl. Sounds simple enough.
What the beautiful girls do, as noted, “besides buying the right clothes, bags and shoes, girls in Jakarta they like to spend hours at the salon, getting their hair fixed or having their faces massaged.”
In other words, girls spend. Girls consume. Girls receive all the treatments they deserve, like any other lady down the street, a gentleman would think.
But all this goes back to the definition of beauty: Is it wholly materialistic? And if yes, does it come with a price tag? If not, is beauty purely God-given, then?
Picture that frisson of her gaze when you meet her eyes. And when you talk, every so often she gives you that piquant glance. Then you look down and you see Birkin bags and Prada shoes. Further up and you’ll notice the color of her dye and the stagnant curls of her hair. Back to her face – no signs of an approving smile.
My, now that view has to cost some ginormous price, for sure. And she does not want you to buy it, even after knowing you had a long day from work, if ever you’re financially ready. Lest her daddy hunts you down and kick your thing.
Those times can be put to use for a man and his A-rated future wife to spend time with each other, playing together, fighting with each other (and probably have a superb make-up date later?), if time and money spent to keep up with her beauty were not lost. Guys, you’re missing out – the money’s in your hand, and she’s got all her time in the world – She doesn’t look interested, and you’re letting her go?
I’m trying not to philosophize too much, but here’s my point: When we assume that popular opinion is the ultimate truth, the unchangeable, undeniable fact, we let things become that reality. And so we stick to it, live it, consciously or not, while leaving what we truly want inside, like a quiet desperation in this wasted life, only exist in dreams as you let others convince you to believe as it is – only in dreams.
It’s not just about paying the haircut fee for her beauty, you see. Whether you’re convinced to marry her or not, make your nice girl to make enough effort to look good for you (and that’s the thrill of the chase), while she’s busy being a nice person, smiling to everyone (including the hairdresser). Before you know it, voila, you get an A-rated girl. Or the other way round. She’s demanding and she doesn’t smile. So what? Man up; make her listen to you, gentleman. I know it sounds simple enough, and I’m no testosterone – but realize that it’s as simple as the definition of an A-rated girl. Be dashing, and be likable.
“Men are greedy”
Few weeks ago, a guy friend confided in me, saying that he wanted the rare breed of girls, the type with a “socialist look, but deep down is a simple, ordinary girl.” He felt he had to move up the career ladder because he wanted to have an A-rated girl as a girlfriend. He was a very picky guy, I won’t say completely greedy, just because he has never had a girlfriend before in his entire life (mid-20s), and claimed that for the first and last time he’s to have a girlfriend, it has to be his definition of A-rated girl. “Most girls want security,” he reasons, so his recent job change made him feel more confident in finding a mate, finally.
If you are rushing to get married, without asking yourself whether you really want her and she really wants you, then you’re doomed to get dumped down the road, if ever that girl is a beautiful girl but not nice, or you’ll leave her if she’s nice but not much of a looker. I remember a couple of Sundays ago, my pastor at church shared a true story that best illustrates a modern woman. There was this one time a particular husband lost a lot of money due to the economic downturn, and the woman, completely aware that they were married in Christ for more than 2 years, sought advice from our pastor in the following manner of speech: “Pastor, when is the best time I should leave him?”
Look, I’m no girl’s girl, a recovering not-nice girl, and everyday I try to find the most economical ways to beautify this physique, which is not even close to that of a supermodel but still conforms to the media’s expectations. But I can tell you that it takes effort, because I know men are simply different from women, and their visual cortex is double the women’s, and then all her curves stays permanently in his head, and that’s how this mental picture stays close in his heart, that’s just how men are designed to operate, biologically speaking. Aside from that, I know that making the effort is worth it – because it renews my confidence, plus it inflates the man’s ego.
Just like women, men should be brave enough to chase their dreams. Effort does not exist only in rupiahs. And money means nothing when you earn it without the girl who deserves an A.
“I think you are my greatest trophy,” recited my boyfriend. That is, provided that I have to stop picking my nails. Like I’m doing right now.